Listening (NaPo #9/30)

Why does no one listen?
It's like shiny things all around them glisten,
And they don't want to take the five-ten seconds to listen to me...
...Well, the five-ten seconds it should take me,
And that on a rare, good day, will take me.
Why do so many thoughts go though my mind
That I find
I have such a hard time thinking of at least one of the words in one of my sentences
In the explanation, that in that instance,
I think too fast, and use several filler words,
Several umm and uhh words,
That it takes about three-five extra seconds?
Why is everyone so busy and so important that they can't take about ten seconds
To hear one-two sentences from me?
It's not like I'm going to go on for hours, I have never taken hours for explaining anything,
I wish they could have more faith in me, it's like they have nothing,
It seems they think so little of me,
But I know they love me.
It just frightens me,
I'm afraid that when I decide to come out to them as gender non-conforming male, and greypolarbisexual,
That they won't want to listen to me, as usual,
And just try to shut me up,
And that's a hard thing to do,
Not an easy thing to go through,
They'll still accept me, I know,
But it's still difficult, I know.
It's not always like they show on tv,
It's not as if I say my labels and pronouns, and then suddenly the weight is lifted, heavy,
And they hug me, and we suddenly know all is right in the world.
It's different, I still struggle to find my place in the world,
Learning life lessons, and learning about the world.
And I still struggle to call myself he,
When around those I haven't come out to, I still use she,
And have for almost twenty three years, thought she
Was what I was meant to be,
And that how I looked correlated to how I felt,
And now I realize it's like a rainbow that did melt,
More of a spectrum and a complex spider web all in one,
Every gender, presentation, sexuality, romanticism, sensuality, friendship, and intelligent and emotional attractions, bleeding into one another,
Yet, also jumping completely over some of the things for some individuals, and correlating with another thing altogether.
It's insane how complex it is, yet wonderful,
That everyone gets labels for what they feel, see, and want,
So they can find the communities that they want,
So they can have a place to call their own.
It's an important subject,
And would like respect,
Even on mundane topics.
I try so hard to vocalize subjects
And my thoughts and emotions,
But it brings such complex emotions,
When no one seems to take the time to listen to me,
Except for the rare times when its basically a scheduled "heart-to-heart",
Then when I try to do my part,  
And bring up the touchy and heartfelt subjects from that time, on a day-to-day basis,
So that she can know where I stand, what I want from life, when what she does hurts me, and a simple explanation
Of information
As to why things happen.
Is it too much to say "hey it wasn't two mason jars, that fell and broke, it was one mason jar and one shot glass. I just didn't see it at first, because it happend so quick."
All I did was stick my head out the front door while there were in the front yard, real quick,
I wanted not much of a reply, just a slight laugh, and something along the lines of a rather neutral "okay",
But I should have known not all would be okay,
I should have known I would be cut off, told that she already understands.
I'm not making any demands,
I'm not asking much,
I don't explain everything,
I just wish everyone didn't make such a big deal of everything
I say to them that they didn't ask for,
Does my voice sound painful? Am I boring them? Are they really so high above me, that my words mean nothing to them?