For my son

I know you don't think much of me.
I know I'm not that great.  
I know sometimes you look at me and your eyes are filled w hate.  
I can't undo what has been done ,
The past is set in stone .
I can't get back your childhood years,
And now your almost grown .  
I thought I knew how fast time flew,
But I realized much to late .
I can't force love into your heart  
If already there is hate.  
I can't take back the pain you feel,
The damage has been done .
All I can do is try to prove ,
How much I love you son.  
I cannot change what's deep inside,
Or who your going to be ....
All I can do is pray to God  
Because it's killing me.
Your still so young, my little boy  
Now an angry little man .
But still I want with all my heart ,
To do the best I can.  
To show you it's not worth it and  
Your acting like a fool.  
Smokin , drinking , punching walls..
You think that makes you cool?  
And when you and I start fighting ,
It shatters ny whole heart ...
Knowing what you think of me,
Just riips my soul apart...
I try hard not to flip out but
My anger comes from pain.
It's cause we're hurting deeply  
But it's driving me insane.
So peace and love from me to you  
And altho your daddy's gone.
You and I are still alive ,
And our lives must go on.  
So be us friends or enemies,
If we talk or if we yell...
We're not gaining much of anything  
And it's a living hell.  
You need to step outside yourself
And take a look within.
You don't want to end your life ,
Before it can begin.  
You need to find the goodness
That I know is in your heart .
And get your shit together
Before you tear your life apart.