deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Fire Poured
He came from below not above
In the name of fury and of love
In a dark carriage made of light
With a jug of water in fire fight
To usher vengeance he forgave
A righteous man and the knave
He shouted softly into the mind
Words so harsh words so kind
She followed and walked away
She was night and she was day
Coarsely whispered honest lies
Somber laughter in merry cries
Together made the watery fire
A jug a wagon the flame a tire
In the end when this all began
He was woman she was man
In the name of fury and of love
In a dark carriage made of light
With a jug of water in fire fight
To usher vengeance he forgave
A righteous man and the knave
He shouted softly into the mind
Words so harsh words so kind
She followed and walked away
She was night and she was day
Coarsely whispered honest lies
Somber laughter in merry cries
Together made the watery fire
A jug a wagon the flame a tire
In the end when this all began
He was woman she was man
Published 4th Apr 2020
Author's Note
Union
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 8
reads 385
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Apr 2020 11:28am
4th Apr 2020 11:56am
4th Apr 2020 12:02pm
4th Apr 2020 12:21pm
i like rhythm i like form
Tend to steer clear of the norm
Some are decent, some are poor
Hope some are what you're looking for :-)
Tend to steer clear of the norm
Some are decent, some are poor
Hope some are what you're looking for :-)
4th Apr 2020 1:29pm
4th Apr 2020 1:43pm
Indeed, but i don't worry too much about it or even bother to properly learn the rules and confines of poetry in the same way that i like to discuss philosophy but refuse to read books on the subject. Freedom to me is paramount, i write how i like and if others enjoy it, so much the better.
8th Apr 2020 4:09pm
I write what I like so said Steve Biko
And you are also a free thinker without the aforementioned person's oppressive environment of his time
What I wanted to say was that the rhyming couplets are always a useful tool in the poet's toolkit
Your quatrain manages to gather the thoughts of the writer so that the message can be summarized in fewer words
It's good to play around with different techniques and styles and I was walking on your path as you poured fire
And you are also a free thinker without the aforementioned person's oppressive environment of his time
What I wanted to say was that the rhyming couplets are always a useful tool in the poet's toolkit
Your quatrain manages to gather the thoughts of the writer so that the message can be summarized in fewer words
It's good to play around with different techniques and styles and I was walking on your path as you poured fire
8th Apr 2020 4:16pm
i see you get it and it pleases me greatly, as it takes one to know one.
Am happy you liked it, thank you kindly for considerate wisdom.
Am happy you liked it, thank you kindly for considerate wisdom.
