Pondering Questions

Dear God;
 
I don’t mean to prod.
I just have these pondering questions;
About my life lessons.
 
How much more pain is to come?
Every day I pray for the pain to be gone.
Though only twenty-five;
I allowed corruption to take over and lost my drive.
Weighed down by crippling weight placed on my shoulders;
I crumbled.... It is difficult to be your soldier.
 
Forgive me; I honestly don’t mean to prod.
I need enlightenment god.
Another one of your souls are completely lost.
Weighed down from exhaust.
I hope you know I am a believer; I do not question your final plan lord.
I just need to know when comes the light because I am grasping at life cords.
Give me enlightenment on when these life lessons you keep presenting me;
Will turn to sweet blessings and finally put my soul free.
 
So many questions weighing my mind… hardly any strength left to find.
These constant afflictions;
Cursed from so many addictions?
Have weighed me down to where I have lost fight.
Countless times already I have almost met you through heaven's light.
 
I know many humans struggle with addiction.
I just don't realize why so young I have been condemned to multiple addictions and held at constant restriction.
How many addictions do I have to overcome?
Until the hell will be done.
 
I recognize you have a plan.
One day I hope I will understand.
But I need guidance on standing tall.
The last lesson I received was quite the fall.
 
Amen
 
-C. Jackson.


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