brignngngng!

the door censor goes off as i walk in

it's just me n the saleslady at the thrift store
she keeps telling me how good the 75 dollar queen size used mattress is
so good, she says, rubbing it
i had a nice mattress…i say
she’s like 100, i don’t think she hears me
you’ll love this, she says, sitting down on it
i can hear the metal springs grrooaan as she bounces
i had a nice mattress…but it got punctured with a knife a bunch of times
so good, she says more excitedly, biting her lip, stroking it with both hands
i had a nice mattress…but it got soaked in blood
she closes her eyes, head back, arms strretchhed,
hands gripping the sides,
moving her legs in a way
that's got her dress climbing up them
exposing white flesh
and whiter flesh
and more wh—
bright pink (!?)
brignngngng!
a group of teenagers walk in
interrupting the show
i’ll take it,
i tell her
as she hikes her dress back up

i give her my credit card
we tied it to the top of my acura
and i took it home

carl, my neighbor, helps me carry it up the stairs
and into my apartment
where’s heather? he says
why’s it so cold in here?
why’s it reek of bleach?
cuz i just got my asshole done carl, i say, pushing him out
*slam door*

i wake up next to heather
and we fool around some
but it’s not that good ...
i have a realization
i’m just not that into her anymore
damn
i think i'm going to have to dump her

. . .

i bring the thrift store lady back to my apartment
she's so old
she was probably going to die in her sleep tonight of old age anyway…

i duct tape her into a ball
*the sound duct tape makes when you rip it from the roll*
glchchglchrfphtfrippcht
so all that's exposed is three holes (ass, pussy, mouth) (hee hee hee!)

a few days later i decide it’s time to move on

i spot pinhead carl
and his pinhead wife and 8 pinhead children walking back from taco bell.
as they're climbing up the stairs
i roll her like a bowling ball
knocking them all down
ssttrriike

oh shit,
the apartment complex is going up in flames!
i save carl's wife and two eldest daughters
put em in the back of my van and go
i'm a hero

and when you save a life
that life is yours to take
if you want it

we're going to have lots of fun girls

i mean women
/
i mean whatever you identify as
/
it's cool with me
/
ur life is short
/
be what makes you happy now
/
cuz tomorrow
/
you could be dead
/
slash/slash/slash

hee hee hee!