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deepundergroundpoetry.com
Chaotic Reflector
When I look at you,
It's like looking at the worst me.
Is that how I chose to be?
I finally see the agony of we in you.
It's too bad my world is progressively a lie.
If I was a piece of shit,
This piece wouldn't be shit.
As I would smash from dame to dame.
Slapping confidence to my name,
To take your belief in the true me away.
That's where we actually are today.
Listen!
I'm trying to not care, and it hurts.
Every little thing to get you out safely and remain intact would in fact be ideal, and deep down you may know that to be real.
I AM FUCKING FIENING FOR REJECTION!!!
The quicker the better.
Just don't light me up.
I already soaked myself in my passionate loathing.
No one needs to see my passionate burning.
Screaming in the flames,
My passionate yearning,
For you.
Neglected.
Dejected.
Derided by a chamber of echoes to the brown nosed tune of you?
Nice Ass By the way.
Every little thing to get you out safely and remain intact would in fact be ideal, and deep down you may know that to be real.
If not I can be a whisper in the whirlwind.
The more fuckers I lose the more this round box feels like it's closing.
Countdown started way before you popped in.
I just never expected day dreams where you would be my boo.
That was never meant to be just like me and you.
I'm a farfetched,
Crazy Nigga.
I must have been tripping.
To think,
me and you.
You can Laugh now.
This whole thing is a joke from me to you.
Hahahaha😧.
It's like looking at the worst me.
Is that how I chose to be?
I finally see the agony of we in you.
It's too bad my world is progressively a lie.
If I was a piece of shit,
This piece wouldn't be shit.
As I would smash from dame to dame.
Slapping confidence to my name,
To take your belief in the true me away.
That's where we actually are today.
Listen!
I'm trying to not care, and it hurts.
Every little thing to get you out safely and remain intact would in fact be ideal, and deep down you may know that to be real.
I AM FUCKING FIENING FOR REJECTION!!!
The quicker the better.
Just don't light me up.
I already soaked myself in my passionate loathing.
No one needs to see my passionate burning.
Screaming in the flames,
My passionate yearning,
For you.
Neglected.
Dejected.
Derided by a chamber of echoes to the brown nosed tune of you?
Nice Ass By the way.
Every little thing to get you out safely and remain intact would in fact be ideal, and deep down you may know that to be real.
If not I can be a whisper in the whirlwind.
The more fuckers I lose the more this round box feels like it's closing.
Countdown started way before you popped in.
I just never expected day dreams where you would be my boo.
That was never meant to be just like me and you.
I'm a farfetched,
Crazy Nigga.
I must have been tripping.
To think,
me and you.
You can Laugh now.
This whole thing is a joke from me to you.
Hahahaha😧.
Published 19th Mar 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 9
reads 335
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Mar 2020 5:55am
What's not nice?
I ask for honest critique so you can tell me if there is something, mechanical, or grammatical to fix, but REALLY analyze what I am saying, and offer up perspective.!!! You did absolutely nothing to help me understand your qualms with this piece.
But for you to come in leave a lackluster comment and offer no criticism of construction , or reflection just says some thing about you now don't it?
You liked my other poem where the subject is at odds of living in agony by not having the girl of his admiration, but this one where the subject rejects the hurt, and leaves her game.* got my own poems confused talking to you*, either way the tone and conclusion to the pieces differ, and all you got is "That's not very nice". Without telling me why. It's the WHY THATS EATING ME UP. Tell me.
Like you almost want me off myself...Lol I'm not in the right head space to deal with even dumb stuff like lackluster attempts at criticism. "That's not very nice".
What's not nice?
Grow up. I wouldn't have gone off on you if you were to explain why it's "not very nice", you could have been as nasty as you want and I would respectfully and quietly accept, but this as miniscule as it may seem is rather rude, and displays your lack of care for the feelings of others than yourself.
I don't even know you!!!
Do me a favor and take my poem out of your reading list. Don't read anything from me please.
I ask for honest critique so you can tell me if there is something, mechanical, or grammatical to fix, but REALLY analyze what I am saying, and offer up perspective.!!! You did absolutely nothing to help me understand your qualms with this piece.
But for you to come in leave a lackluster comment and offer no criticism of construction , or reflection just says some thing about you now don't it?
You liked my other poem where the subject is at odds of living in agony by not having the girl of his admiration, but this one where the subject rejects the hurt, and leaves her game.* got my own poems confused talking to you*, either way the tone and conclusion to the pieces differ, and all you got is "That's not very nice". Without telling me why. It's the WHY THATS EATING ME UP. Tell me.
Like you almost want me off myself...Lol I'm not in the right head space to deal with even dumb stuff like lackluster attempts at criticism. "That's not very nice".
What's not nice?
Grow up. I wouldn't have gone off on you if you were to explain why it's "not very nice", you could have been as nasty as you want and I would respectfully and quietly accept, but this as miniscule as it may seem is rather rude, and displays your lack of care for the feelings of others than yourself.
I don't even know you!!!
Do me a favor and take my poem out of your reading list. Don't read anything from me please.
20th Mar 2020 5:23pm
The message is not very nice.
U clearly said it's all a joke.
Meaning everything said prior is crap . So whoever u are writing to I feel sorry for.
U clearly said it's all a joke.
Meaning everything said prior is crap . So whoever u are writing to I feel sorry for.
19th Mar 2020 5:59pm
19th Mar 2020 6:29pm
So you are scum bag I see. Yesterday I had a drawing from the comic series saga. You really are an awful person, I'll give you that. Why don't you talk about my skin color since you want to bring up "identity"?
"Ur identity crisis is killing me. Hey yesterday u were white."
Yesterday I used a pic from a comic. Please say some more dumb shit. You are trolling me now and I want to murder you TBH, but fuck it piss on a flame.
"Ur identity crisis is killing me. Hey yesterday u were white."
Yesterday I used a pic from a comic. Please say some more dumb shit. You are trolling me now and I want to murder you TBH, but fuck it piss on a flame.
20th Mar 2020 5:17pm
19th Mar 2020 6:26pm
i enjoyed the metaphors that caused me to ...
Feel
& You made me look up a word -->> FIENING
and i learned something new today and so not a wasted day for me while i am in grieving.
Speaking of grief,
i will have to reread Your spill at another time because i (know) am unable to separate Your FEEL, here
from my emotions (sorry -- just poor timing, i think).
But overall,
i liked the logic and presentation to this spill
Feel
& You made me look up a word -->> FIENING
and i learned something new today and so not a wasted day for me while i am in grieving.
Speaking of grief,
i will have to reread Your spill at another time because i (know) am unable to separate Your FEEL, here
from my emotions (sorry -- just poor timing, i think).
But overall,
i liked the logic and presentation to this spill
19th Mar 2020 6:35pm
19th Mar 2020 6:40pm
I have been feeling this way lately about someone in my life. You summed it up in a really nice way. I like the format you have going on. The spaces, the exclamation points. All solid. Was a ride. Thank you for sharing.
