Relapse

Once again I find myself in hell
I ask myself how 'cuz I was doing so well
My relapse happened so fast with just a thought
Why didn't I reach out or use the tools I was taught
I understand that picking up that day was my choice
I impulsively gave in to that screaming little voice
I said "just one time and I'll be fine"
Subconsciously knowing that was a lie
 So I used even knowing where it would lead me
But it's a disease and that's part of the insanity
Sure life can be tough, but when will enough be enough
But thankfully I'm still here and I didn't give up