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careful with that quill...

 
I made a deal with my muse
signed on the dotted line without a backward glance
a lifelong contract
signature scrawled on her open palm
eternally inked
tip dipped
in the salty remains adorning my face
no arguments
I go wherever her pen moves
every release affording a modicum of peace
captive to the sway of her moods
as they dip & sway
a chaotic exotic creature
she revels heavily in my lust
even the slightest taste
giddy & unrestrained
you should see her
sneaking sultry into my thoughts
naughty little voyeur
she lets my inner vixen inspire
but then likes to watch
stroking my passion & feeding my need
soaking herself in ecstatic delight
like a cat in the sun
hedonistic
arching & purring
licking her lips
greedy little minx

~~

but then there are nights...
she settles for nothing less than the taste of my blood
wrapping me in darkness
a lacerating cocoon
as she rides pillion on the backs of my demons
using my quill as her whip
but that sting burns both ways
their howls rend my insides
and their rising blood-lust
fucks me up
it's not the damage & pain
it's all the maybes & could have beens
as I flip through choices & actions
things I did in the past
shit you can't ever fix
words I can never take back
and I know that...
but suddenly I'm haunted by questions I don't normally ask
digging deep gouges into tender nerves
amplifying sensitivities
and despite self-forgiveness
it still hurts
as I rock hard on my heels
reminding myself
that's no longer who I am
memories pick their own time to fade
some fight tooth & nail to remain
and my beautiful museÖ
she gets off on how jagged I feel
a right little sadistic bitch
but that's the nature of the pact
it's a promise you can't ever retract
let this be a warning
to any man who dares love me
he may never occupy her coveted space
might always come in second place
as I carve her desires in the flesh of my psyche
day or night
without warning
Iím permanently bruised
with poetry
I realize it can't all be sunshine & daisies
tomorrow she may be contrite
cuddle up close & caress
granting softer offerings
something less painful to express
but first
I have to get through tonight...



FromTheAsh
Written by FromTheAsh
Published
Author's Note
Copyright © 2019 FromTheAsh. All Rights Reserved
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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