Smoking To Forget

Here I lie awake at night
Pondering all my regret and sorrow
The pain starts to build again
But lets save that for tommorrow

Put down the pencils
Homework can wait
Cause im feeling depressed
Mary Jane's got a date

Why deal with my problems?
When I can leave them alone
Even when notifications
Start filling your phone

Ignore everything and inhale
Smoke them if you got them
Cause it's not the only thing burning
Exhale, cough out the phlegm

But how do you handle it
When the pain starts to seep through
Even numbing it is temporary
No matter what you try or do

Your life is burning as you sit and watch
Tears stream down your broken smile
Maybe she hates you too
You haven't seen her in a while

She probably loves someone new now
But hey you still got MJ right?
She never tries to hurt you
She's with you through the night

And your friends don't notice
When you dissappear for days
It sucks to know I wouldn't be missed
Even if they love me in their own ways

You're a failure at school
You could easily pass if you tried
But its easier to chill and smoke
Than stay sober, breaking inside

Because the pain is so excruciating
Driven by shame, guilt, and betrayal
I always tend to fuck things up
Even doing my best, I fail

After all I failed you didn't I?
When I saw your tears I felt your pain
Your crying face haunts my mind
I'm slowly going insane

So relax, smoke up, ease off the panic
Put on some music and lay in your bed
Hide from your troubles
Let those thoughts leave your head

Let the clouds fill your brain
Wash away all the pain

Even if its brief
I'll roll and smoke this leaf

Cause drowning by my own hand
Beats sinking into quicksand

And if they say I'm rotten seed
Atleast I can still blame the weed

So write me off as just a stoner
And let me go and be the loner

I was always meant to be alone anyway
But still sometimes I wished you'd stay