That teen moment Pt.4

Seated in that piece of shit chair.
It’s like a fucking time out I swear.
But it’s my go to place to write.
Feeling blank as that paper white.

I really don’t know if I am ok.
Ask my drunken parents, proud they say.
They hardly know I exist. How could they have pride?
Here we are more scattered thoughts spilling from inside.

~The turbulence of a minds balance seized to exist without
Proper concentration.~

Looking back over, puzzled. What does that even mean?
99% of my writes will remain secret and die with me.
Oh here we fucking go, once again bring on the crying.
Back to the mirror I would love to smile but then I’d be lying.

I love my parents and deep down inside I know they mean well.
They don’t have to worry I literally know nobody to tell.
Hey pen, you wanna write? Something to fill these pages with life.
Drifting off to that land that felt so right.

~She came home from school greeted with hugs.
Everyday was important enough to be loved.
Special times were anytime and it was amazing.
That care and compassion was life saving.
When she fell they were there to help her…~
~~_____ _ _~~

That distraction again. Is there someone there?
No response, go figure, no one fucking cares.
Well I care damn it! Though I really don’t know why.
Two things I am best at are my poetry and how to cry.

-Sigh- I really need a new chair. And oh yeah that date.
Can’t ever be late for that date. Choice time at eight.
I’ll rest on the edge of my bed for a bit. I don’t want to lay down.
A glance to the mirror reminded me of that all too familiar frown.