Suicide

*I redid my spoken word video what do you think?

"I am lost inside a thought, wandering nowhere,  
Suffering being broken apart.
Waiting, wishing these days gone by,  
I am standing at the edge of time.  
As the waves come crashing in.  
is your reasons enough?
or will you sink deep within?"  
 
People do not die,  
in the name of suicide.  
They die of empty sadness,  
everyone should know that's why.  
 
No one knows the heartache,  
that lies behind that smile.
No one knows the many times,  
You've broke down and cried.  
 
Loss of sight of who you are,  
pushing the ones you love away.  
You see only the darkness,  
silently screaming. don't go, please stay.  
 
Always struggling within,  
as you pretend you are okay.  
yet you can't think of a reason,  
To keep you here that very day..
 
Sometimes love is not enough,  
when you're sick, consumed within emotion.  
Never thinking others might understand,  
You fake that smile, again and again.
 
For you the only way out,  
Seems rational without any doubt.
So, you keep the pain inside,  
isolate, you hide.
 
You'd rather the pain destroy you,  
As it slowly consumes your life  
Your screaming silent,  
reliving violence.  
 
Being scarred inside,  
devours your soul alive
Thoughts begin to race,  
tears rush down your face.  
Years of help was not enough,  
Haunted by memories...  
became too much.  
 
Men, women deeply broken  
defeated, no longer strong.  
Hope is now just an illusion,  
just an optimist's solution  
Your voice without sound  
All you want is to be heard,  
 
Being free of the pain  
You feel deep inside.
You want to be happy  
not scared all the time.  
 
A place to call home  
Even just to call your own,  
that love to have and hold.  
new beginnings...  
out with the old
                                         Instead, the end seems better.  
No more emotional hurt, no haters.  
 
Finally a silence, you can't describe.  
A peace found within you,
when you decide to die,
soon darkness fades the light  
The voices get louder, harder to fight.  
 
Embracing memories in dreams,
Hell makes it's way closer it seems.  
Your cries for help, no one hears  
Consumed by the darkness  
You want to hide, want to disappear.
 
nothing's changed.  
Is this my living curse,
inside my mind a waiting hearse.  
 
This path led me on a journey,  
leaving many scars on my body.  
Alone without and real help
Only resulting in wounds upon thyself.  
 
Think of the future not last night,  
for tomorrow will be alright.  
Not everything in life is forever,  
take my hand, will get through this together.  
Now I'm asking YOU to lend your hand  
Before society gets its way: Your their bitter end
Joanna Ryan-McDonald