inside me

 
                   Travel to the paths inside me,
                    chained in the tangle of my acts,my decisions,
                    my dreams,and my frustracions about the bad or the good things
                    of my existence.
                    I'll be back in time,to the hidden memory,
                    walking on the hard rocky roads,that my wild side lived,
                    in ephemeral happiness,who presented me with unhappiness.
                    I am mentally in the gutter of my existence,
                    stripped of any dream or will,and run away to the present,
                    letting go of the weight of the tangle of chains,that try to stop me,
                    and run away to the present,
                    i hold on the tenuous hope of my world "survive"the day was borne,
                    but i don,t see my sun,
                    remember the day "zero"
                    the moment of my nothingness,
                    junping  in the dark,holding on the hope,that my hope save me,
                    i fall into nothing !
                    I will be what??
                    The present ,today ,is my nothingness,tale only my existence.
                     I dont want what my wont wants.
                     Walk inside me, looking for the road where i got lost,
                     although my sun doesn,t rise,I wait for it to shine,
                     and for it to dry the murky waters where I am submerged.
                     I hit the button of my will,
                     and drow me in the mire of my past,
                     grab me to the roots of dreams lost,
                     and feel myself breathing slowly,
                     i grab me the strength of my discontent.
                     I just wont my existence,go necked,
                     on the way to the memoryn of what i lost,whose i lost,
                     and remember everithing who i won,in an emotion,
                     to release me the tear i was looking ,
                     for as proof i still exist.
                     I will always doubt of my decisions,but i have to decide,
                     or else....i will die in the murky waters of my existence.






                                                                                                                             J.D. 25-2-2020