Too sad for a title

I walked with her to work and went back home.
Wishing her a good day, I'll message from my phone.
That day she was dressed all in raven black.
A positive outlook in life staying on track.
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That day the skies were drained of blue.
I felt that sadness falling deep within you.
I offered love, support and tried to distract.
Once a life ends there is no turning back.
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I wasn’t there to witness that sudden pain.
Really no one, but God to place the blame.
She had told me of this absolute sadness.
That hard struggle to move forward past this.
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I was there, but she didn’t want to hold hands.
I wasn’t offended I could only try and understand.
Being there for my best friend in hard times.
Fumbling to write and stay in between the lines.
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I made her some dinner but she silently refused.
Thinking of witty things trying to keep her amused.
She fell asleep alone, but I laid on the floor next to the bed.
Not touching one of her 10,000 pillows to rest my head.
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I silently laid there just in case. In case she needed me.
Hoping in the stars she would find that beautiful release.
I would lay there all night by her bed in a distant silence.
Just hoping that in the night sky she finds the diamonds.