Dear unborn

Dear unborn.
I wish this letter was about expectations,
About you being born into this world.
Your first steps,
First words,
And all the things you would discover in this world.

I wish this letter was about your chance at life,
A possibility of a happy family,
And all memories of a child and father.

But this letter is about my selfish reasons,
My lack of responsibility,
My lack of being a man.

I thought I was saving you from this world.
I was saving you from being born into starvation,
A life I clearly know.
I thought I was saving you from this world of canals
That eats the weak to survive,
Mankind feeding of misfortunes of others.

I thought I was sparing you from the cruelty of this world.
Your father didn't amass a lot to give you a life worth living.
My failures as a man and a father led to your short comings.
I depraved you of life.
I denied you your moment
But I believe I denied you pain,
Tears, trauma and all the unpleasant miseries I've learnt of this world.

Yes, I've denied you good things too,
But our kind are born to one single fate.
We are just rats on the bottom of the food chain feeding on each other.
I've starved you of life,
This world starved you of life,
Everything and everyone denied you of life.

But I among them,
I'm the worst,
I decided to abort you.