deepundergroundpoetry.com
A SIGHT FROM HEAVEN
A SIGHT FROM HEAVEN
Where is that great sight that my eyes seek ?
It is hidden in a place quite near,
but the flesh short_sighted eyes can't see
as the soul is what can see that sight.
When you see it, your heart will soon melt
and will live with it forgetting land
as the soul has spheres no flesh can reach.
It combines with souls of endless life.
Great is that sight that you can't leave it.
You can see a world with mystic eyes.
They can join the past with what will come
in a view that can give you delight.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Where is that great sight that my eyes seek ?
It is hidden in a place quite near,
but the flesh short_sighted eyes can't see
as the soul is what can see that sight.
When you see it, your heart will soon melt
and will live with it forgetting land
as the soul has spheres no flesh can reach.
It combines with souls of endless life.
Great is that sight that you can't leave it.
You can see a world with mystic eyes.
They can join the past with what will come
in a view that can give you delight.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Published 19th Feb 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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20th Feb 2020 5:29pm
All tell, no show doggerel, and boring, too, given the repetitious use of the words "flesh", "sight", "eyes", and "see". One also has to wonder, given that the place the soul goes to is immaterial, if there will be anything "there" to see.
Where is that great SIGHT that my EYES seek ?
It is hidden in a place quite near,
but the FLESH short_SIGHTed EYES can't SEE
as the SOUL is what can SEE that SIGHT.
When you SEE it, your heart will soon melt
and will live with it forgetting land
as the SOUL has spheres no FLESH can reach.
It combines with SOULS of endless life.
Great is that SIGHT that you can't leave it.
You can SEE a world with mystic EYES.
They can join the past with what will come
in a view that can give you delight.
Where is that great SIGHT that my EYES seek ?
It is hidden in a place quite near,
but the FLESH short_SIGHTed EYES can't SEE
as the SOUL is what can SEE that SIGHT.
When you SEE it, your heart will soon melt
and will live with it forgetting land
as the SOUL has spheres no FLESH can reach.
It combines with SOULS of endless life.
Great is that SIGHT that you can't leave it.
You can SEE a world with mystic EYES.
They can join the past with what will come
in a view that can give you delight.
20th Feb 2020 5:35pm
Oh earthy man,
made up of dust,
how blind you are
to heaven’s light!
You have your fleshy eyes
but you have not
until you’re dead
the beatific sight.
You have to be
a ghost to see
the trappings of eternity.
Or so it’s claimed
so apodeicticly
on Bible grounds
by Deeply Underground’s JZ
despite the fact
the Bible really claims
a human’s destiny
is future set to have
a bodied life
within the concrete world
that God calls good.
made up of dust,
how blind you are
to heaven’s light!
You have your fleshy eyes
but you have not
until you’re dead
the beatific sight.
You have to be
a ghost to see
the trappings of eternity.
Or so it’s claimed
so apodeicticly
on Bible grounds
by Deeply Underground’s JZ
despite the fact
the Bible really claims
a human’s destiny
is future set to have
a bodied life
within the concrete world
that God calls good.
20th Feb 2020 7:40pm
First correct the adverb: [apodeicticly] ; then we talk about the rest. Review what you have written, first.
There's nothing to correct.
https://www.thefreedictionary.com/apodeicticly
https://books.google.com/books?id=MYaOVtuEpPYC&pg=PA181&lpg=PA181&dq=apodeicticly&source=bl&ots=dLC-FqU-VY&sig=ACfU3U3NqyhaYuRPau7qkvluf-6TIk8RoQ&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj_2MXy9eDnAhXIl3IEHUZ1Bt0Q6AEwBHoECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q=apodeicticly&f=false
How about you correcting the solecism that you wrote when you said "then we talk about the rest" to the grammatically and syntactically correct "then **we'll** talk ..."
And how about you stop using supposedly incorrect grammar in my submissions as excuses for avoiding discussion of the points I raised about your submission?
https://www.thefreedictionary.com/apodeicticly
https://books.google.com/books?id=MYaOVtuEpPYC&pg=PA181&lpg=PA181&dq=apodeicticly&source=bl&ots=dLC-FqU-VY&sig=ACfU3U3NqyhaYuRPau7qkvluf-6TIk8RoQ&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj_2MXy9eDnAhXIl3IEHUZ1Bt0Q6AEwBHoECAkQAQ#v=onepage&q=apodeicticly&f=false
How about you correcting the solecism that you wrote when you said "then we talk about the rest" to the grammatically and syntactically correct "then **we'll** talk ..."
And how about you stop using supposedly incorrect grammar in my submissions as excuses for avoiding discussion of the points I raised about your submission?
Your submission is essentially a rather prosaic piece that **tells** us this:
The sight I seek, the one that I believe will melt my heart and bring me true happiness and that will be so great that I’ll never want to stop seeing it, cannot be seen with the eyes I now have here on earth. I will only be able to see it after I die when my soul separates from my body and I go to heaven where other (redeemed?) souls dwell.
There's nothing really poetic about it, especially if one defines "poetic" as "having the capacity, because of its the use of fresh and engaging language and certain literary devices, to enchant a reader and to bring hi/her inside an experience and gets him/her to see something with his/her eyes shut".
Correct me if I'm wrong (and explicitly **demonstrate** how I am wrong if you think I am) in asserting that what I've written below is far more poetical in the way it says what you were asserting in your submission than your submission is.
Comments on this matter from anyone else who reads J-Z's submissions (is there anyone but me?) are also welcome. Le's see a show of hands on whose piece is the more poetical with comments that show why your opinion is a valid one.
There is, I know, a heavened sight
that I am only able now to view
as something that’s encased
in darkened glass.
Such is the limitation hard
imposed upon my corpus scribed
capacity for clarity of vision while
I’m still a mortal man.
But come my liberation of
my psyche from
the flesh-tomb of my soma, I
shall be endowed with full
and supernatural ability to see
as one who's liberated, free,
from all the surly bonds of earth
the splendor and the hallowed light
abounding in the face of God;
for then I’ll stand before his throne
with gloried eyes that can take in
as earthy eyes cannot,
the grandeur of his majesty.
.Cue the "you don't know anything about poetry" accusation.
The sight I seek, the one that I believe will melt my heart and bring me true happiness and that will be so great that I’ll never want to stop seeing it, cannot be seen with the eyes I now have here on earth. I will only be able to see it after I die when my soul separates from my body and I go to heaven where other (redeemed?) souls dwell.
There's nothing really poetic about it, especially if one defines "poetic" as "having the capacity, because of its the use of fresh and engaging language and certain literary devices, to enchant a reader and to bring hi/her inside an experience and gets him/her to see something with his/her eyes shut".
Correct me if I'm wrong (and explicitly **demonstrate** how I am wrong if you think I am) in asserting that what I've written below is far more poetical in the way it says what you were asserting in your submission than your submission is.
Comments on this matter from anyone else who reads J-Z's submissions (is there anyone but me?) are also welcome. Le's see a show of hands on whose piece is the more poetical with comments that show why your opinion is a valid one.
There is, I know, a heavened sight
that I am only able now to view
as something that’s encased
in darkened glass.
Such is the limitation hard
imposed upon my corpus scribed
capacity for clarity of vision while
I’m still a mortal man.
But come my liberation of
my psyche from
the flesh-tomb of my soma, I
shall be endowed with full
and supernatural ability to see
as one who's liberated, free,
from all the surly bonds of earth
the splendor and the hallowed light
abounding in the face of God;
for then I’ll stand before his throne
with gloried eyes that can take in
as earthy eyes cannot,
the grandeur of his majesty.
.Cue the "you don't know anything about poetry" accusation.
And you insist on your mistake. Don't you know that most of the adjectives ending with [TIC], their adverbs are formed by adding _ally? Look it up in any respectable dictionary. Or you write it as you pronounce it.
So what? Most is not all. And as you seem not to have taken notice, the form is attested. So, BTW is "apodicticly"
https://www.powerthesaurus.org/apodicticly
But for the sake of argument, I'll grant I'm wrong. So you are now obliged, if you are a person who is true to his word, to "talk" about the cogency and validity of the remarks I made about your submission. Please demonstrate how and why they are off the mark if you think they are.
https://www.powerthesaurus.org/apodicticly
But for the sake of argument, I'll grant I'm wrong. So you are now obliged, if you are a person who is true to his word, to "talk" about the cogency and validity of the remarks I made about your submission. Please demonstrate how and why they are off the mark if you think they are.
