deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ten to Eleven
As we ran with fleeting chance
like insects, fly from summer's grass
like dogs just let off a lead
dirty hands, and dirty knees
See no danger, pay no heed
lied when I said I cleaned my teeth
tremble as I braved a "dare"
with impish grin and tousled hair
Did my mind just twist the facts
reminisce through hazy cataracts
Just outlines, as we squint the past
was my ten, just that far back
Old photographic remnants, in hand-me downs
refractions of that life in sepia brown
Now let me see, was that the class of 1927
could be; If so I had just turned eleven
#Billy Collins
like insects, fly from summer's grass
like dogs just let off a lead
dirty hands, and dirty knees
See no danger, pay no heed
lied when I said I cleaned my teeth
tremble as I braved a "dare"
with impish grin and tousled hair
Did my mind just twist the facts
reminisce through hazy cataracts
Just outlines, as we squint the past
was my ten, just that far back
Old photographic remnants, in hand-me downs
refractions of that life in sepia brown
Now let me see, was that the class of 1927
could be; If so I had just turned eleven
#Billy Collins
Published 16th Feb 2020
Author's Note
inspiration # Billy Collins poem "On turning ten"
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Feb 2020 1:43pm
This is wonderful, Slip. I was transported back to my youth as well.
"was my ten, just [to] far back"
Address that possible auto correct and you have yourself a strong contender in the Billy Collins challenge. Good luck!
"was my ten, just [to] far back"
Address that possible auto correct and you have yourself a strong contender in the Billy Collins challenge. Good luck!
16th Feb 2020 2:35pm
16th Feb 2020 4:13pm
Great entry, Slip. Watch your possessives: summer[ ' ]s grass, and photograph[ ' ]s remnants ( though 'photographic remnants might sound better ),
form seven
Did you mean from? Unsure here the context of form.
Don't forget to hashtag #BillyCollins at the end of your poem per the comp guidelines, and best of luck in the comp!
form seven
Did you mean from? Unsure here the context of form.
Don't forget to hashtag #BillyCollins at the end of your poem per the comp guidelines, and best of luck in the comp!
18th Feb 2020 3:56am
Its funny how memories take on their own rosy glow as they become furthur back in time, even if the old sepia photographs fade more. This is a nice snapshot of how a memory can be described as if it happened yesterday. We only truly change on the outside :)
