My Broken Soul

Open eyes
Don't see this pain
Everyday I awake
A battle of survival
Why must I
Have to be the one to fight
Turning on the lights
Is so very hard
Not knowing if this is the day
Nothing comes on at all
Dragging my feet
Into the bathroom
Feeling of no sleep
Avoiding the mirror
Of a reflection I hide so well
Brokenness and unloved
Why do I even get up
Tired of hearing
God has a plan
For whom
Because my time is steady running up
Driving to a job
Raises I get
But health insurance
Takes all of that
So I opt. out
No more Obamacare
Health care
No longer I want
And still
My paychecks are less
Uncle Sam takes all my loose change
And tax time
Don't bring no smiles
After paying bills and dues
I still end up in debt
And did I mention my car
It's barely holding on
If it wasn't for the crack heads
My car would've been broken
Because I can't afford
Dealerships and new parts
Junkyards and Pull-a-Part
Is my favorite part stores
And driving illegally
Suspended license and no car insurance
Just driving
Is a daily game of chess
Avoiding police
And car wrecks
Is enough stress
Come with
Holding my car keys in my hand
And food
Ramen noodles and bologna sandwiches
Is enough for me
Eventhough....
The price of bologna
Is slowly going up
And who do I blame
Not one single soul
For bad times
Comes and goes
But for me
It stays
Hindering me
From seeing
How the goodtimes
Would benefit me