Giving Up

I can't fight anymore, I'm fully drained.  
I can't give anymore, where is my gain?  
I love and I love and I don't hold back.  
I give and give, but I don't keep track.  
I can't keep giving more than I'll ever get.  
You don't understand the reason for my fit.  
You question my intentions, but you're the one with something to prove.  
You question why I'm there, but you're the one with something to lose.  
Do you not understand that you're the one pushing away?  
You think I'm pushing, but you know I want you to stay.  
Why did you have to sit there and kiss me?  
You went against what we had already agreed.  
I can't and I won't keep doing this.  
My mind is already full of this list.  
Lists of reasons to stay and reasons to go.  
The reasons to go have the most to show.  
The reasons to stay are the most intense.  
How does any of this fucking make sense?  
I literally can't stand being around you.  
But when I'm not I feel the most blue.  
I feel like everything is out of focus and I fantasize about being in your arms.  
I dream about living with you and always loving you, ignoring the alarms.  
Why do I have to feel this way?  
I don't even know what to say.  
I don't want this and you know it.  
You know I know it isn't worth it.  
Stop all of the bullshit and just let me go.  
You know you feel nothing deep below.  
I try my hardest to just push you out of my mind.  
I try my hardest to be what you say I am, fucking blind.  
But it's not my eyes that see, it's my heart.  
All of this back and forth is tearing me apart.  
Just let me know what's actually real.  
Just let me know how you fucking feel.  
Stop playing these fucking games to get what you want.  
I'm not the one dragging it on and putting on this front.  
Stop pretending all because you're afraid of losing someone genuine.  
I'm perfectly fine with having no feelings and just being fucking friends.  
You don't have to make this shit up to keep me around.  
Stop searching for this, there are no feelings to be found.
Written by PurplePandas
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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