A LETTER TO LOVE LOST
I wrote this letter
for I know you will never read it.
It's just the words that was needed
to release the pain that ran through my heart.
It's a plead for us to stay as we were,
for my heart still desire what we had,
but my spirit is saying
“leave it alone, for he doesn't feel the same”.
GOD never said that we will not have
troubles in our life journey.
As a matter of fact,
HE promise us a life full of woe,
but if we are in HIM,
HE would not take our joy.
I don’t understand why we had to part,
for the most part
we were at peace with each other,
or so I thought.
I'm trying to get myself together
I just needed a shoulder to cry on,
I needed encouragement for us
to save our love till death do us part.
You promised that it was
GOD, you, & me against the world,
what made that change?
I am not GOD
so I don't “lean to my own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
Sure I'm not understanding
why the door to your heart closed up tight,
but I did got the message loud & clear
& walked right out without protest.
Wasn't you who say to step out on faith?
That's exactly what I did;
I did step out on faith with you,
letting my guards down around my heart.
Now I’m left feeling
like a fool all over again.
This might have been true,
but you promised that you would not be like the others.
Trust me you said,
I am not the men of your past.
so why am I’m getting
the prizes that they all had?
I am striving to be a Proverbs 31:10-31 type woman,
but you continue to measure me
as most ones of your past?
I am in love with you,
wishing that the feeling is mutual for me,
but I know I can't tell you what to feel,
But your actions showed me just what you meant.
I don't believe that it was just by chance we met.
If I have cause you any pain,
please forgive me because that was not my intend,
All I wanted was to give you all my love,
without any critique.
I do know that I cannot make you feel the same,
but always remember
that I will always carry you in my heart for always & forever
For you left me standing alone
& that’s what broke my heart.
You see in all relationship there is times
when we will not agree on a subject,
but I thought we had a better understanding
than what the your actions have shown.
One thing that I have learned in life
is not to close doors on people,
although they may hurt you at times.
We pray for HIS forgiveness
& try to forgive them.
You never know when that person can help you
with something you will later need.
That doesn't mean that you have to have them all in your life,
that's a fact of life.
I say this because I cannot close the door on you
after everything we have shared,
but I must step back,
& mourn the love we had.
I do feel very stupid
because I let my guards down so quickly
upon meeting you face to face,
& try something different,
which blew right up in my face
So now the lesson is learn.
But that's what life is about,
stepping out on faith,
& learning from our mistakes.
It's a fool that don't learn the lesson
& continue to make the same mistake over & over.
I know that you have been thru a lot of hurt & pain
from other women,
It has made you very bitter & distrust women.
I do understand how this could happen,
You must first fully forgive those people
& yourself before you can go on.
You see that they have, & may still be,
been living their life the way they choose
& you were stuck with the pain,
I really feel you on that.
Although my grow up years had it's pains,
but I haven't let that baggage keep me from being truly happy
& having loving relationships in my life's journey once again.
I know that as long as you don't forgive them & move past it,
your life will continue to be
a spinning arrow with no end in sight.
This is what I do every time
I forgive someone that has harmed my spiritual being,
this enables me to move on with a fresh start
& don't put the past on the present.
I look to you as my husband (without the world's legalities),
for this is what my heart feels for you.
I do understand that it is not that way for you
not at this time, or may never was in your heart.
In closing, I wish you all the love, joy, & happiness
that GOD has for you.
I don't know what GOD has really planned,
But I pray before I make another mistake in life,
that the love for you, with all my heart,
will bring you back to me,
this time till death due us part.