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deepundergroundpoetry.com

Starving and Confused

dear abby
dear abby,

please help me
i am trying
to understand

someone told me
“you are what you eat”
and now i can’t sleep
and i’m afraid to eat

is it true
that if i eat beef
i’ll grow an udder
and start saying ‘moo’

if i consume pork
will my tail curl?
or will i cry ‘oink’?

please help me
i am trying
to understand

someone told me
“you are what you eat”
and now i can’t sleep
and i’m afraid to eat

are chicken nuggets OK?
or will i grow feathers
and sing cluck-cluck
or cock-a-doodle doo?

what about duck soup?
will i quack?

if i was vegan
would they call me a turnip?
would my hair turn green?
would i settle down and grow roots?

please help me
i am trying
to understand

someone told me
“you are what you eat”
and now i can’t sleep
and i’m afraid to eat

she likes it
when i lick her rosebud
will i become an ass
and start saying ‘poo’

does a
cunnilinguist
turn into a pussy?

my girl likes fellatio
and so do i  :-)
is she turning
into a dick?

please help me
i am trying
to understand

someone told me
“you are what you eat”
and now i can’t sleep
and i’m afraid to eat

that guy who didn’t like my long hair
said  “i eat hippies like you for breakfast”
was he hungry?
or a closet hippie?

my ex once said “eat me”
did she think i was a cannibal?
or was she projecting
her hunger for me?

please help me
i am trying
to understand

someone told me
“you are what you eat”
and now i can’t sleep
and i’m afraid to eat

if i devour books
will i become an author
(if i stick to Fleming
can i be 007 ?)

if i ingest poetry
a poet?
(i like Silverstein
will i start writing silly poems??)

is it safe
to eat
processed food
or will i turn into a factory?

if i eat
a lot of preservatives
will i live
forever?

please help me
i am trying
to understand

someone told me
“you are what you eat”
and now i can’t sleep
and i’m afraid to eat

the more i think about it
the more afraid i am

what if i ate pop rocks?
would my head explode?
(i won’t to eat them until i get your reply)

yours truly,

starving and confused

p.s. i liked your answers to bewildered

(C)2020 Raibeart Bruis
Written by Kinkpoet
Published
Author's Note
I heard John Prine's song, Dear Abby, this morning, which led me down this strange path.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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