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Sad Skull

Today I thought of you.

But I don’t know why I’m so surprised, because it happened yesterday too.

And the days before.. it’s been weeks to months, and next year it will be number four.

And another after that I’m sure.

It’s like I can hear your footsteps at the door.

I’m staring out my window and sitting on the floor, looking for you in that stupid white shirt you always wore.

In your favorite black jeans, packing one but saving it for me to hit the greens.

In those shoes I bought for you, so I can see you turn a little less blue.

With your hair so silk, picking off the petals just so you can watch them wilt.

Fuck. I’m getting off topic- I better just drop it.

Because then my mind will start to race, and the red will fill my face. Thinking about how everything about him was so perfectly placed.

God, what a waste.

That I’m sitting here waiting, internally debating, mentally bating, because I’m the one I’m hating.

For wasting my nights on someone who’s never coming back, but I’ll never grasp that.

Because since the absence of you, I feel like I haven’t been me.

I haven’t felt free, or had the need, to fall in love with life- and let my conscious be.

You’re so caught up and tangled in my mind- I still have your number, do you think about mine?

Still Ending with nine. Thousands of texts and letters about a world so divine..

Where we were just fine. I accepted all of your flaws. But you couldn’t carry mine.

Because they were too deep but here’s something to reap.

You’re so god damn sad. And you let it drive you mad, but you don’t think it’s that bad.

Because the pills won’t let you sleep and you lie and you cheat, and have the hands of a thief.

And you still think you’ve got me beat? Well let me repeat-

That without a mind bending substance, you’re weak. And you’re not discrete. That’s how you have girls bowing at your feet.

Remember when you said it was only me?

Yeah I found out, and it left me picking at the grout- on a dirty bathroom floor.

Where you’ve picked me up before. I’m sure you know where this is going- but I can say more.

I’ve had the knife to my throat and ready to rip to the core. And knowing damn well you weren’t coming through that door.

Sorry honey, but I’ll tell them about all the times I sent you money. I’ve grown a lot more bitter and it sure isn’t funny.

I guess I’ll stop now because it’s almost 10. I bet they’re all wondering where you’ve been. Up waiting for you, putting off the better men.

Go run back them.

It’s fine, it’s great, like I said it’s getting late. I shouldn’t make you wait.

Go tuck back in to bed- lay down and open your head. Take in all the stimulus of your day, which I hope was at least okay....

I’m sorry I was rude, this isn’t my normal attitude.

Please get some sleep, wherever you are in this world.

Wrap yourself in comfort and wool.

Drown out the demons and try to keep from crushing your sad skull.
Written by tasia_arlene (Tasia Arlene)
Published
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