deepundergroundpoetry.com
The truth
Every day I'm dreaming of hope
Thinking maybe one day someone will be there to hold me
Faking happiness when I can't even cope
Tears hidden under my eyes are invisible to see
I'm getting pulled by emotions and feelings as if being pulled by a rope
I'm questioning my purpose and what I need to be
Would you walk this path with me
Stay with me through all the catastrophes
And hope one day we run free
Will you fight an unwinnable war
Try to open a unlockable door
The truth is I'm not sure what I'm looking for
When the hard times come are you just gonna leave
Are you gonna help me learn to breathe
Or duck away and begin to weave
Why do I never feel accepted
I can't stop always feeling vepid
And the people I see all their words feel tepid
What does it mean to be a man
I'm dragged through like ole raggedy Anne
And all of a sudden I got no plan
I'm looking for the lucky number
On his knees just like a plumber
Laying down and going to slumber
Writing words upon the clouds
Hoping to make someone proud
And hope some slimmer of hope is allowed
Truth is I'm on a sinking life raft
My moments resemble those of William Howard Taft
And I see all those faces who used to laugh
I hear a storm on the horizon
No question just like a knockout by Mike Tyson
Give me an honest answer
Tell me there is no cure for cancer
I'm chopping down all these trees
Trying to act tough like Mr T
I'm not sure what I was thinking
Maybe I need to stop drinking
Let me find a home of mine
Give me some figment of a sign
I need to find my inner peace
And at the end feel the exhaustion as you finally release
I'm not anybody's picture they keep
At death not many will weep
I'm a star in the distant sky
And like all stars I will eventually die
One look from here to there
The truth is I'm not sure who will care
The root of all evil is that we don't know
But we all put on a show
I'm fighting to remember what got me here
I think it's all clear that I fear knowing what is truly there
Truth is an endless maze
All the truth and lies just leave you in a daze
I hope one day it will be forgotten
But that will take men and women
And the truth is we have to try to ascend and keep fighting till the very end
Thinking maybe one day someone will be there to hold me
Faking happiness when I can't even cope
Tears hidden under my eyes are invisible to see
I'm getting pulled by emotions and feelings as if being pulled by a rope
I'm questioning my purpose and what I need to be
Would you walk this path with me
Stay with me through all the catastrophes
And hope one day we run free
Will you fight an unwinnable war
Try to open a unlockable door
The truth is I'm not sure what I'm looking for
When the hard times come are you just gonna leave
Are you gonna help me learn to breathe
Or duck away and begin to weave
Why do I never feel accepted
I can't stop always feeling vepid
And the people I see all their words feel tepid
What does it mean to be a man
I'm dragged through like ole raggedy Anne
And all of a sudden I got no plan
I'm looking for the lucky number
On his knees just like a plumber
Laying down and going to slumber
Writing words upon the clouds
Hoping to make someone proud
And hope some slimmer of hope is allowed
Truth is I'm on a sinking life raft
My moments resemble those of William Howard Taft
And I see all those faces who used to laugh
I hear a storm on the horizon
No question just like a knockout by Mike Tyson
Give me an honest answer
Tell me there is no cure for cancer
I'm chopping down all these trees
Trying to act tough like Mr T
I'm not sure what I was thinking
Maybe I need to stop drinking
Let me find a home of mine
Give me some figment of a sign
I need to find my inner peace
And at the end feel the exhaustion as you finally release
I'm not anybody's picture they keep
At death not many will weep
I'm a star in the distant sky
And like all stars I will eventually die
One look from here to there
The truth is I'm not sure who will care
The root of all evil is that we don't know
But we all put on a show
I'm fighting to remember what got me here
I think it's all clear that I fear knowing what is truly there
Truth is an endless maze
All the truth and lies just leave you in a daze
I hope one day it will be forgotten
But that will take men and women
And the truth is we have to try to ascend and keep fighting till the very end
Published 3rd Feb 2020
| Edited 4th Feb 2020
Author's Note
I wrote a summary over what my thoughts were with each line and it is down there at the end of the page so look at comments. Also I sang it to show how the lyrics come into play. I don't try to write a lot. It just flows out of me. I have trouble saying one thing because I'm thinking 80 different things. I have great perception and sometimes struggle to not speak in tongues. Hopefully this helps a little.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 676
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Feb 2020 9:35pm
Hi CP, I find much common humanity in this poem.
There are many sentiments and struggles which seem to be part and parcel of the human 'adventure' on this planet.
I get a sense of an honest write which opens doors for readers to feel their own journeys with yours; in that then you have done a "poet's work" to open a path for the reader.
The rhyming elements add flow but the whole poem needs tightening up (imho). When I've had more time to consider it, I'll PM you with some suggestions. Best regards, Josh
There are many sentiments and struggles which seem to be part and parcel of the human 'adventure' on this planet.
I get a sense of an honest write which opens doors for readers to feel their own journeys with yours; in that then you have done a "poet's work" to open a path for the reader.
The rhyming elements add flow but the whole poem needs tightening up (imho). When I've had more time to consider it, I'll PM you with some suggestions. Best regards, Josh
3rd Feb 2020 9:39pm
Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate your thoughts. I kind of always had a lonely life. I haven't had anyone help me through life. So I'm still trying to figure it out. It is about the journey not the destination in my opinion.
I think I just finally noticed the utter beauty of poetry. It is more than just words on a page. It's a story. It's your story. You are your own person so don't be afraid to take chances. Even while lost you can find the light in the darkness. I hope some day I realize I can't be perfect. I'm not going to please everybody and I need to work for myself. There is no greater path of life than finding one's self. I hope one day I feel calm and live the life I want. Tides wash away the footprints but the impact is still there. It is all about forgiving not only others but yourself. I'm not sure of the road I will take but I will have obstacles in my way. I got to keep fighting. All I have to say.
Cozy, while Josh prepares various suggestions for tightening, I'm going to make one major suggestion:
break this poem up into multiple poems.
You can even create a series titled "The Truth Part 1" , "The Truth Part 2" , etc.
For example, with some tender loving care - Stanzas 2 and 3 combined would make a decent poem - Stanza 1 and 8 combined likewise - Stanza 4 could be its own poem - 5 and 6 combined - 7 could be its own.
Then you would have the opportunity to polish up each poem without losing too much of what you wrote. As a whole, it's going off on a lot of tangents.
break this poem up into multiple poems.
You can even create a series titled "The Truth Part 1" , "The Truth Part 2" , etc.
For example, with some tender loving care - Stanzas 2 and 3 combined would make a decent poem - Stanza 1 and 8 combined likewise - Stanza 4 could be its own poem - 5 and 6 combined - 7 could be its own.
Then you would have the opportunity to polish up each poem without losing too much of what you wrote. As a whole, it's going off on a lot of tangents.
3rd Feb 2020 11:30pm
I'm going to sing it to show how the flow and structure was in my head. It's very lyrical so it would be better that way imo.
3rd Feb 2020 11:47pm
By all means, if you have a greater vision in mind, hit us with it. That will help everyone tailor their suggestions more to fit your vision.
4th Feb 2020 00:02am
4th Feb 2020 00:10am
Btw I'm gonna go through every stanza to explain what I meant I use too many lyrical words so I get away from my point so I'll slow it down.
Every day I'm dreaming of hope
Thinking maybe one day someone will be there to hold me
Faking happiness when I can't even cope
I am saying I need someone to help me find hope and I'm faking that I am ok.
Tears hidden under my eyes are invisible to see
I'm getting pulled by emotions and feelings as if pulled by a rope
I'm questioning my purpose and what I need to be
I'm crying inside and falling apart and I just don't know what to do
Would u walk this path with me
Stay with me through all the catastrophes
And hope one day we run free
I need someone to care for me and stay with me so I don't fall apart
Will you fight an unwinnable war
Try to open an unlockable door
The truth is I'm not sure what I'm looking for
When it seems impossible and I'm trying to find my way will you fight with me
When the hard times come are you just gonna leave
Are you gonna help me breathe
Or just duck and weave
When times are tough will you be there or just leave me all alone
Why do I never feel accepted
I can't stop always feeling vepid
And the people I see all their words feel tepid
Why can't I find something why do I feel so lost and why is everyone doubting me
What does it mean to be a man
I'm dragged through like ole raggedy anne
And all of a sudden I got no plan
I get hurt and lose all idea of what to do and I'm completely lost and out of luck
I'm looking for the lucky number
On his knees just like a plumber
Laying down and going to slumber
I am trying to find luck and If i don't then I'm done
Writing words upon the clouds
Hoping to make someone proud
And hope some slimmer of hope is allowed
I am trying to find my way hoping to make someone care so I don't lose hope
Truth is I'm on a sinking life raft
Moments remember those of taft
Faces laugh
I am saying I am falling apart and everyone is looking at me nobody cares and they all are laughing as if it is a joke
I hear a storm on the horizon
No question just like the knockout for Mike Tyson
Give me an honest answer
Tell me there is no cure for cancer
I am saying that I have lost all hope and I might be done if you don't help
I'm chopping down all those trees
Trying to act tough like Mr T
I'm not sure what I was thinking
Maybe I should stop drinking
I am saying I am acting as if everything is ok like I am fine but I'm lying to myself and it kills me
Let me find a home of mine
Give me a figment of a sign
Let me find my inner peace
And then have release
I am saying let me belong somewhere. Tell me where to go. I want to feel calm and ok before I die.
I'm not anybody's picture they keep
At death not many will weep
I'm a star in the distant sky
And like all stars I will eventually die
One look from here to there
The truth is I'm not sure who would care
No one will remember no one will cry as I'm nobody in a distant sky. I look around and I don't know who cares.
The root of all evil is that we don't know
But we all put on a show
I'm fighting to remember what got me here
I think it's all clear that I fear knowing what is truly there
How did I get to this moment? What do I do now?
Truth is an endless maze
Truth and lies will leave you in a daze
Truth is hard to find and sometimes we get the truth mixed up with the lies
I hope one day we will be forgotten
But that will take men and women
And the truth is we have to keep trying to ascend and keep fighting till the end
We all want to tell the truth from a lie
And we keep going until we can't no longer
We try to find ourselves.
That is what my poem means I'm very lyrical easily. I wrote this in 20 to 30 minutes. I think too much so I make it harder to understand. Hopefully this makes more sense.
Thinking maybe one day someone will be there to hold me
Faking happiness when I can't even cope
I am saying I need someone to help me find hope and I'm faking that I am ok.
Tears hidden under my eyes are invisible to see
I'm getting pulled by emotions and feelings as if pulled by a rope
I'm questioning my purpose and what I need to be
I'm crying inside and falling apart and I just don't know what to do
Would u walk this path with me
Stay with me through all the catastrophes
And hope one day we run free
I need someone to care for me and stay with me so I don't fall apart
Will you fight an unwinnable war
Try to open an unlockable door
The truth is I'm not sure what I'm looking for
When it seems impossible and I'm trying to find my way will you fight with me
When the hard times come are you just gonna leave
Are you gonna help me breathe
Or just duck and weave
When times are tough will you be there or just leave me all alone
Why do I never feel accepted
I can't stop always feeling vepid
And the people I see all their words feel tepid
Why can't I find something why do I feel so lost and why is everyone doubting me
What does it mean to be a man
I'm dragged through like ole raggedy anne
And all of a sudden I got no plan
I get hurt and lose all idea of what to do and I'm completely lost and out of luck
I'm looking for the lucky number
On his knees just like a plumber
Laying down and going to slumber
I am trying to find luck and If i don't then I'm done
Writing words upon the clouds
Hoping to make someone proud
And hope some slimmer of hope is allowed
I am trying to find my way hoping to make someone care so I don't lose hope
Truth is I'm on a sinking life raft
Moments remember those of taft
Faces laugh
I am saying I am falling apart and everyone is looking at me nobody cares and they all are laughing as if it is a joke
I hear a storm on the horizon
No question just like the knockout for Mike Tyson
Give me an honest answer
Tell me there is no cure for cancer
I am saying that I have lost all hope and I might be done if you don't help
I'm chopping down all those trees
Trying to act tough like Mr T
I'm not sure what I was thinking
Maybe I should stop drinking
I am saying I am acting as if everything is ok like I am fine but I'm lying to myself and it kills me
Let me find a home of mine
Give me a figment of a sign
Let me find my inner peace
And then have release
I am saying let me belong somewhere. Tell me where to go. I want to feel calm and ok before I die.
I'm not anybody's picture they keep
At death not many will weep
I'm a star in the distant sky
And like all stars I will eventually die
One look from here to there
The truth is I'm not sure who would care
No one will remember no one will cry as I'm nobody in a distant sky. I look around and I don't know who cares.
The root of all evil is that we don't know
But we all put on a show
I'm fighting to remember what got me here
I think it's all clear that I fear knowing what is truly there
How did I get to this moment? What do I do now?
Truth is an endless maze
Truth and lies will leave you in a daze
Truth is hard to find and sometimes we get the truth mixed up with the lies
I hope one day we will be forgotten
But that will take men and women
And the truth is we have to keep trying to ascend and keep fighting till the end
We all want to tell the truth from a lie
And we keep going until we can't no longer
We try to find ourselves.
That is what my poem means I'm very lyrical easily. I wrote this in 20 to 30 minutes. I think too much so I make it harder to understand. Hopefully this makes more sense.
4th Feb 2020 2:17am
What you just did was get to the point.
If you put all those points together, you have a streamlined version of your poem ( minus all the "What I am saying here is ...." ). It won't be as poetic, but it is direct and truthful.
If you take that poem and add back in some elements from the longer write, you will have your tightened up version.
If you put all those points together, you have a streamlined version of your poem ( minus all the "What I am saying here is ...." ). It won't be as poetic, but it is direct and truthful.
If you take that poem and add back in some elements from the longer write, you will have your tightened up version.
