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Image for the poem Crowded Room

Crowded Room

Here I sit with my back to the wall
And a full view of the room
Not by chance at all
It's woven in my loom
 
Scanning the place
My eyes fixed on the crowd
Watching looks on their face
They're so happy and loud
 
But somewhere out there
One might be a threat
A person without a care
Or trying to settle some debt
 
It could be her on that side
But of malice i see no hint
It could be him full of pride
Not knowing his concealed weapon prints
 
Always keeping an eye
But not just for my sake
All these people drinking rye
Clueless of their fate
 
Or the ones with their phones
Noses buried deep
Watching their screen, waiting for tones
Or that little old man asleep
 
I watch as i eat
Checking boxes in my head
Of the people I greet
And others I've read
 
The room gets loud
But my brain is a mess
As the place starts to crowd
And i can't watch the rest
 
My heart starts to beat
Pounding like a hammer in my chest
I sit nervous in my seat
Because i can't see the rest
 
I get whats left to go
And head out the door
Walking past the rows
I can't take anymore  
 
Many dont understand
This anxiety i feel
But things get out of hand
And violence is real
 
While most look for the good
I watch for the evil
I'd stop if i could
But i lived it for real
 
Not everyone has cheer  
Deep in their hearts
There is true evil out here
Practicing their black arts
Written by Wh1skeySwagger (Swagger)
Published
Author's Note
It is hard to convey the feelings and anxieties that go through my head when I go into a public place. I guess when you have lived through certain things, and have witnessed true atrocities performed by evil people against others, It is hard to un-see. These visions not only haunt my sleep, but purvey this overwhelming anxiety when in public. You see I know its out there, I know it when it strikes most, I know the people this evil looks to feed off of, and my brain has almost been trained to a constant state of awareness. This is why crowds have such an effect on me, the more people there are the harder it is to be sure all including myself are safe, running my thoughts into a panic of sorts. so basically this was an attempt at a lil peek into my mind.
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