Crush Chronicles VIII - Crushes Fade Away

This is the story
Of the first girl
I ever had a crush on

You know just before
you hit puberty
You know about
the concept of attraction
But there's a huge difference
between knowing
what something is
And actually experiencing it

Then it hit me
I don't know why
But for some reason
I liked this girl
And I knew it wasn't
Just a play thing
But your first crush
Is supposed to be just a passing wind
Someone in your distant memory

But somehow my first crush
Ended up in the same
high school as me
We weren't friends though
We weren't even in the same circles
The only thing we had in common
Was being in the same grade
And at times the same classes

That should've been it

Then we went to
the same university
And social media
Had a way of connecting you
To people you hardly talk to

One day I posted
parts of a poem
To which she commented:

"The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Is such a great book"

To which I replied

"I only know this one poem
I actually haven't read the book"

I then proceedes to send a DM

"That book you spoke about
Do have a hardcopy or
an ebook version of it?"

She had both versions
And I asked her
to email it to me

That should've been it

However with her email
She also sent me her
Phone number
That's when we started
Contacting each other
For someone I relatively knew
For all of my life
It was only in our twenties
That we would actually
get to know each other

That Should've been it

But one day I found myself
Stood up by another girl
And that very day
I ran into her

She has such a welcoming smile
And not to mention a warm hug

She was walking with this guy
Then she proceeded
to introduce us

I then realised that she had
Something on her face
To which I told her

She kept missing it
And as I decided to reach out
So that I could remove it
But as my hand was about
To touch her face
She moved away
Looking at the guy next to her

I didn't catch her drift

We had a brief conversation
And what she didn't know
Is that she turned my day around

Months went by
And we were talking frequently
Somehow she was more
than I expected her to be
And I was developing
feelings for her

And I started suspecting
That she too had a thing for me

So I asked her this:

"How long have you
had a crush on me?"

I had given it some thought
And I could now see that
Maybe she had a thing for me

"I had a crush on you
In high school but
it didn't last that long"

Her words were like
A blood trail left for a shark

At the end of the year
I had gotten into a situation
That just left me feeling guilty
It confirmed my feelings for her
But I really didn't like how
It went about because
It involved another girl

There was no way
I'd ask her out now
My conscience wasn't clean

But the heart wants what it wants

It was the new year
And I knew that this year
I wanted to be with her
And whilst talking on the phone
I set the stage for our affair:

"Do you know what is
the one thing most people
overlook about war?"

(What a random question to ask)

"No I don't know too"
She replied

"The Declaration"

"You see wars don't just start
on random days rather
one party declares
to the other
when this war will begin

we may not be at war
but I would like to declare
something to you"

I don't know if this was cheesy
Or downright genius

"I don't think you're
The type of girl
Who would appreciate
Being asked out over the phone
So I'm declaring that
At some point this year
I'd like to ask you out
So that we can start dating"

That was is everything was set
But the one thing I overlooked
Had just come into play

That guy she was with
that time I ran into her
was actually her boyfriend
It was so obvious
But I missed it
They just didn't look like
Anything was happening
Between them

Turns out they had
recently broken up
Around the time I ran into them
Their relationship wasn't in a good place

And now I just added
a spanner in the works
Because she wasn't over him

Look at how the tables had turned
Now I was in a situation where
I was making someone realise
That they are in love with someone else

"You know if you really love him
You shouldn't just let things
die out like that,
love is worth fighting for
It may not seem like it
But maybe fighting for it
Will make things work out"

(Damn those Romcoms)

Apparently this was the trigger
She needed and in no time
They were back together
A line had been crossed
Between us which
Neither one of us
could get back to

And it may have taken
Many years but my first crush
Had finally faded away
Written by Simon_III_Msibi (Mandla Msibi)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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