deepundergroundpoetry.com
Eminentia
sliding like honey
when there’s time,
in those stolen moments
in broad daylight -
it’s not right;
but I’m here, all the same
because my selfishness
has no bounds
and I want to be sorry,
but I’m not
this Aries’ fury burns
way too bright,
and I’ve never been good
at dimming my flame -
the essence yet restrained
will still consume you;
I know it and I don’t care,
even though
I often wonder if I should
forgive me if I’m spitting
all over you;
it’s a hard habit to break,
and I’m awfully lazy
about taking actual part
in my resistance;
so buckle up
my buttercup,
the ride you’re on
will be bumpy;
I realize I’m speaking
as if that wasn’t
previously apparent
I’ve been dismembered
in ways I can’t speak of -
even still, after all this time;
trauma is a starved wolf
wandering in the snow -
it’s sharp teeth
are permanently latched
to my ankles;
it makes me bitter,
full of a rage that frightens me;
but I’m soft underneath,
still hoping like the small girl
for the good, the kind, the real
in my connections;
I am complete
in my intentions,
although that really doesn’t
make me any better for you -
and I don’t want to be sorry,
but I am
when there’s time,
in those stolen moments
in broad daylight -
it’s not right;
but I’m here, all the same
because my selfishness
has no bounds
and I want to be sorry,
but I’m not
this Aries’ fury burns
way too bright,
and I’ve never been good
at dimming my flame -
the essence yet restrained
will still consume you;
I know it and I don’t care,
even though
I often wonder if I should
forgive me if I’m spitting
all over you;
it’s a hard habit to break,
and I’m awfully lazy
about taking actual part
in my resistance;
so buckle up
my buttercup,
the ride you’re on
will be bumpy;
I realize I’m speaking
as if that wasn’t
previously apparent
I’ve been dismembered
in ways I can’t speak of -
even still, after all this time;
trauma is a starved wolf
wandering in the snow -
it’s sharp teeth
are permanently latched
to my ankles;
it makes me bitter,
full of a rage that frightens me;
but I’m soft underneath,
still hoping like the small girl
for the good, the kind, the real
in my connections;
I am complete
in my intentions,
although that really doesn’t
make me any better for you -
and I don’t want to be sorry,
but I am
Published 18th Jan 2020
Author's Note
Cold January day musings
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 413
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Jan 2020 00:18am
Also check for a poem i wrote just for nasty winter days. Just for moms! (Stuffed, in your pm box, right under your nose!)
18th Jan 2020 2:14am
💖 Voice holds a counterpoint of boldness and vulnerability. It's the essence of us that rise from the wreckage. Wolf metaphor is vivid. Terrific work.
18th Jan 2020 5:36pm
18th Jan 2020 3:21am
I used to talk too much
Now I just write DUP
Still an excessive
hyper-verbal touch
I wish I still sang a lot
But now I give up
make room for thought
My heart can sing,
does it not?
I'm quite out of room to
make an official poem
...so here I am
borrowing a little spot
If you share a bumpy ride
I will sit right by your side!
Rage does frighten me
I think we can let that be
because our fears are healthy
and rage is the storm of healing
If we take care
wolves will not
consume us
You are not the wolf,
Likewise, neither me.
Now I just write DUP
Still an excessive
hyper-verbal touch
I wish I still sang a lot
But now I give up
make room for thought
My heart can sing,
does it not?
I'm quite out of room to
make an official poem
...so here I am
borrowing a little spot
If you share a bumpy ride
I will sit right by your side!
Rage does frighten me
I think we can let that be
because our fears are healthy
and rage is the storm of healing
If we take care
wolves will not
consume us
You are not the wolf,
Likewise, neither me.
18th Jan 2020 5:37pm
18th Jan 2020 4:47pm
You've nailed an aspect of Aries perfectly. The fire sign, the temper, the tempest inside fighting between reality and desire. The need to protect others. The poem was a flame burning upward. The fact that you feel you are not good for someone either stems from knowledge or a belief that may or may not be truth. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.
While Aries is a fire sign, and known for their explosive tempers; it might not be your element. I am a Scorpio ( water ) with an air rising and and earth moon; therefore, my balancing element is fire. This means in order to totally balance myself, I need to bring more fire into my life via color ( red ), spicy foods ( mexican ), candles, fire, etc. When I learned this, it changed my life. I had been studying astrology ( not to be confused with horoscopes ) for the better part of 35+ years before discovering that tidbit of secret when I began studying feng shui ( which is the flow and balance of energy ) a few years back. It's an ancient piece of knowledge recently ( I mean within the decade ) brought to the surface.
I can help you ascertain your balancing element if you like, just message me.
While Aries is a fire sign, and known for their explosive tempers; it might not be your element. I am a Scorpio ( water ) with an air rising and and earth moon; therefore, my balancing element is fire. This means in order to totally balance myself, I need to bring more fire into my life via color ( red ), spicy foods ( mexican ), candles, fire, etc. When I learned this, it changed my life. I had been studying astrology ( not to be confused with horoscopes ) for the better part of 35+ years before discovering that tidbit of secret when I began studying feng shui ( which is the flow and balance of energy ) a few years back. It's an ancient piece of knowledge recently ( I mean within the decade ) brought to the surface.
I can help you ascertain your balancing element if you like, just message me.
18th Jan 2020 5:36pm
I would love that! Life in this decade has become about balance, and trying to find that sweet spot between blazing inferno and calm waters, particularly with how I relate to people I’m connected to. I have a tattoo of a sun and moon on my lower leg that I had done to remind me there is balance to be had within, although getting there has been a bit of a journey. I had a chart done a few years ago, but I can’t remember what my other signs were. Thank you, Ahavati 💖.
18th Jan 2020 8:26pm
It is hard to write what you truly feel because that is when you accept all the things in your life as true and not something make believe. We all want to believe in fairy tales but sometimes that doesn't happen and you have to pick yourself up. We all have a selfishness to us in which we want to be loved or known. We might bring people down with us. But truth within oneself comes with hard work and determination. You can achieve what you have always wanted but if the path you took was a path you regret, then the destination does not matter. I like the poem and it was really well said.
