Addiction part 1

Up all night,waiting on the sun,so much stuff needs to be done. No one knows all the darkness that I hold and the many many secrets that I hold.

Never thought in a million years that I would have caused people so many tears. Over and over I let family down yet this addiction of meth keeps knocking me straight to the ground. I'll think it's the end then I'll take it to another round.

I only can look in the mirror and blame the reflection, as I look at myself all I think of is pure imperfection. I begged to get high,to float to the sky not willing to see the demise in my eyes. Slowly I faded,tormitted and jaded the holidays and birthdays soon became belated.

I lost it all when I would fall,back pushed hard up against the wall. I worked hard to gain my life back, just to lose it again all for a sack.

My routine was always the same I'd get doped up to the point of psychosis,so lame! Always would turn to my wife for the blame,never would believe its cause I'm insane. Pointing fingers was the name of my game.

Suicide behavior became hard to hide,how could it not,shooting dope made me want to die. Since I wouldn't stop the episodes...well became a lot.

So as if losing your sanity isnt enough or even your family..yeah that is rough. But if I can get clean as did my wife anyone can you Can take back your life. Everyone deals with it a different way...triggers,songs or how you live everyday. But YOU hold the key to your own sobriety so stay strong stay clean you are no longer and fiend.
Written by Alynnb1983 (April)
Author's Note
As always my inspiration is my everyday struggles as a recovering addict and my wife is always my #1 inspiration
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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