deepundergroundpoetry.com
SHOW THE HAPPY SIDE.
SHOW THE HAPPY SIDE.
Don't declare this life is full of care and dirt.
I'm so certain of this fact, and can say more.
I'd be grateful if you can teach me the skills
Which one learns to make his life full of great joy.
Life can have some hiding regions in its depths.
Only that who is so shrewd can know their ways.
I'd be glad if you can drop my old concern,
showing me where l can find the keys of joy.
Men of talents don't tell me that flesh will rot.
People know this fearful fact, but most don't know
how to find the pleasant life and where joy hides.
If you have the clue, l'll be your faithful fan.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Don't declare this life is full of care and dirt.
I'm so certain of this fact, and can say more.
I'd be grateful if you can teach me the skills
Which one learns to make his life full of great joy.
Life can have some hiding regions in its depths.
Only that who is so shrewd can know their ways.
I'd be glad if you can drop my old concern,
showing me where l can find the keys of joy.
Men of talents don't tell me that flesh will rot.
People know this fearful fact, but most don't know
how to find the pleasant life and where joy hides.
If you have the clue, l'll be your faithful fan.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 15th Jan 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Jan 2020 11:05pm
15th Jan 2020 11:10pm
Very dear Diz,
Thank you very much for your comment. Does that bring happiness and security? I want to find the real purpose of life.
Thank you very much for your comment. Does that bring happiness and security? I want to find the real purpose of life.
16th Jan 2020 00:22am
Please tell me how this 11 syllable line:
I'd be grateful if you can teach me the skills
is to be scanned.
I'd be grateful if you can teach me the skills
is to be scanned.
16th Jan 2020 8:17am
Dear Baldwin,
The stressed syllables are capitalised:
I'D be GRATEful IF you CAN teach ME the SKILLS
Then the last unstrssed syllable is catalectic.
The stressed syllables are capitalised:
I'D be GRATEful IF you CAN teach ME the SKILLS
Then the last unstrssed syllable is catalectic.
So .. it's not elision?
And wouldn't a more natural way of saying this be
I'D be GRATEful IF YOU can TEACH me the SKILLS
not to mention
I'd be grateful if you'd teach me all the skills
To use "can" is to question whether the person you are speaking to is able to do any teaching. But the presumption behind your line is that the person you are speaking to is fully able to do so.
And wouldn't a more natural way of saying this be
I'D be GRATEful IF YOU can TEACH me the SKILLS
not to mention
I'd be grateful if you'd teach me all the skills
To use "can" is to question whether the person you are speaking to is able to do any teaching. But the presumption behind your line is that the person you are speaking to is fully able to do so.
I’ve claimed that I’m quite capable
of saying more about the topic underscored by those
who note that life is full of care and dirt.
But why should anyone believe
or bet their shirt
that I’ve the knowledge and the requisite ability
to speak in an authoritative way
on topics such as this?
You’ve no doubt noticed how I’ve skirted doing so
and moved instead, so typically
without providing any evidence
that buttresses and might support my claim,
to questioning just where within
the hiding (hidden?) regions in
the depths of life the keys of (better “to) great joy
are now concealed, if I’ll be shown by those
“so shrewd” (as shrewd of what or whom?)
just where to find this joy revealed
and how to make my life filled up with it.
And that’s a blow to my paternalistic arrogation to myself
of bright, implied omnisciency.
Moreover, is it true, as I insinuate,
that most on earth don’t know or have a clue,
how they’re to find where obscured joy abides
and finding joy, be spared a life of pain and rue?
