deepundergroundpoetry.com
MY INSTINCTS WARNING ME
UNDERSTANDING MY STORY OF DEPRESSION
My summer of June/July of 2007 started with a fresh hard breakup. The relationship lasted five years, and It was a duece-year hell process that made it tough to manage. It was painful, but I figured walking would help me cope with it. For my sake avoiding home was necessary because it'd only raise my anhedonia and anxieties.
I needed to do much outside activity of any sort, whether it would be going to the library, to a restaurant, to the movies even if alone or to a friend's house and stay long hours. I just didn't want to go home cause every time I went home it would weaken me and I'd cry so much till it would knock me to sleep and the next day, my nightmare starts again only I'm awake and it wouldn't stop.
I worked as a hairstylist in League City Texas, In that time I was 32 years old a very single person. The breakup I was going through really tore me up so bad that it wouldn't be even easy working. As working, I could feel my anxieties and nerves giving me even hard chills to keep me from concentrating well on my work. I every time wanted to tear up but I held it in. The only way I could control it was talking, talking and talking, a lot with customers and laughing taking longer then what I was supposed to. I just needed and knew I had to keep my mind very occupied and talking helped me a lot. My boss really didn't like I talked too much on one customer but didn't understand what all was going on with me, but she didn't say much.
The sadder part is I never expressed to my parents how I deeply felt about the breakup and I never cried either in front of them. My dad knew once I told him and he just stayed silent. My mother didn't try questioning me either, I preferred it that way cause I didn't want to be lectured or cry as they talked to me, that's just how much pride I had.
In respect, he didn't try talking to me but one time I was sadly looking at one of my ex pictures sadly in a very focused way. Then one of my sisters only three years younger than me, suddenly laughs and says, "Haha, she is sad cause she not with Christian no more!" and I said, "shut up!!!" My dad got on to her to stop. --She only made me cry more and I go back to my damn punishing room where I shedded so much pain of melancholy behind dark walls.--
TEMPTED TO THE FORBIDDEN FRUITS SIN
I many occasions even went to see psychic's to keep me from going home but I was curious also in wanting know about my future so I'd spent my money to the future tellers since I needed know and didn't care to waste my money on that as I felt it was my money and just simply needed to know about my future and if anything with my ex would be apart of it in a happy ending.
After several, I visited I do recall one revealed my future saying that my ex she sees him around me, but no future was showing together. It really upsetted me and I even refused to believe that! She told me another man is around interested in me. When she said that, I only wanted to know that I'd be with my ex again, but never got the answers I sought. --I was very in denial with myself and very determined to get the real truth and soon eventually in another story, I'll wind up sharing, I'd get the true fact of my beloved ex.--
FORGIVENCE, NEEDING GOD BACK IN MY HEART
I now regret going to them and feel ashamed for going to them in first place cause it is against what God feels and as Catholic, I should have trusted and put more faith in God, in the future he has prepared for me but as a Christian in that broken transition I was going through I failed and the devil had me addicted to it very easily, he knew I was very depressed, lost of hope, desperate, and anxious. He knew I needed direct live answers.
I was very impatient and I kept going to be a stupid puppet for the prohibited path. Yes, they made me feel very at home with them but only welcoming me to take my hard-earned money, I could've used for more important things.
My eyes were blinded and trance away from reality and if I'm very honest with myself, leaving the psychic's home, I felt ok and smiled for a little while but then after a day or two, I still felt very empty and darkness would prevail on me again and I would feel the need to go back after I had made more money or would try seeing cheaper ones.
It was a very bad crumbled downfall time for me. I kept my life even prisoned in a huge wide nutshell keeping it the same distance where I'd drive to. I would only allow myself to go to certain places, avoiding the outside world to make contact with me. I went same areas same places, the paths I took was always the same pattern and same routine and even that time I tired my best friend which now is my ex-best friend, (we unfriend 2012 or 2013) that got so annoyed by my same crying over and over till she said, "Ok enough!! So after knowing she got fed up hearing me, I felt my doors with her were now closed and that is when I went less to see her and started drifting off to those places of strangers to just even have someone I could talk to even if it costed me.
Realistically, when you sickly in love and broken-hearted you don't realize or care how you doing things. You just try doing something that might find you some kind of peace and healing to soothe you inside. --In all truth, nothing will and I just didn't even pray and eventually God made me see things a lot different further ahead.--
HELPING MY MIND WITH A DAILY ACTIVITY
I had been going to do walking at a school track in Pearland as part of my everyday routine after work. Whatever usually I had worked in I'd go just like that and that day I will tell my story I had simple clothes shirt pants and low ankle type boots that were not uncomfortable. Even if I had mid-heels I'd go walking like that, so it didn't matter for me as long I kept my walking at track routine going. Nothing was gonna stop me. So one fine evening I did just that.
So overwhelmed and glad work was over, after 5 pm, I went to a school racetrack. Near the exit, I parked next to a green small dumpster. I kept my red beauty close by so I wouldn't have to return to my car so far.
I locked my Ford Taurus and brought along my MP3 with my headset.
After thirty minutes, I saw two females approaching. They were African-American teens. One young lady had excessive weight, the other thin gal was practicing her running speed while the heavy girl timed her. A few people were there but soon left.
I was afraid I'd be on my own, so I maintained a counter-clockwise direction to keep them in sight.
THE FIRST ODD INSTINCT
I had walked three laps, but out of the blue, I sensed something odd. I thought to myself--it's just my depression trying to weaken me again. I shook it off, I kept enjoying my music as I continued on. --Everything looking normal and the evening pleasant I couldn't let a small gut feeling change that.--
THE SECOND ODD INSTINCT
After another lap, the same sensation of Déjà vu feeling again. Chills began as a truck drove by on the road of the sidetrack I was at. My conscience prompted me to pay attention to that truck. I said to myself, "A TRUCK!?" Why am I focusing on a truck? I didn't like the distraction cause I was trying to enjoy my short time before it gets darker, cause once it did I'd have to leave as its scarier and all leave a bit after it gets dark.
--I continued walking forgetting what all I felt.--
THE FINAL INSTINCT WARNING
After a final lap, on the same side of the track, I noticed the heavier teen yelling at me from the bleachers but the distance between us and the music from my headset made it hard to hear her. After turning off the music, I shouted: I can't hear you!" I stood where I was, they decided to then approach towards me since I couldn't hear them. I waited for them to come closer as all seemed pretty tranquil.
Once they got near me, I uttered, "what, did you say?" She replied, "I don't know if you noticed, but there's a light tan gold truck with headlights on just watching us."
At the moment she said that, I felt like jello...
Cause I kept getting strange vibes from just seeing some random truck I have no clue as to why?? Then she mentions a truck and it really got me paranoid after that.
Silently I was freaking out and nervous out of my mind wondering, "Could it be a coincidence?" I reacted calmly and responded, "what truck"? (Pointing with her eyes) she stated, "that truck."
THE TRUCKS REVELATION TRUTH
To the right of me, besides the grandstands, the unknown stalker was there with the vehicle powered on but I was unable to see their identity due to the tinted windows. It was a type of a low pick-up truck and it gave me bad chills that my arm hairs even stood up.
I was hypnotized for a moment as I felt a dark energy emerge. I felt like they were waiting for my isolation, not precisely the girls. I knew without a doubt the stranger's eyes targeted me and no one else. They wanted me badly I could feel it.
Hushing my fear, not to give panic to the youngsters, they just stared with an innocent silence onto me, awaiting my response. --They didn't show any fear of any but mentally I was and I had to maintain calm so they see I wasn't afraid and neither do the bastards in the damn truck see my face reactions.--
IT'S TIME TO GO
I then said maturely, "They're waiting for one of us to be alone," the thinner minor said. "What should we do?" I answered "we should go."
We walk off as I am behind them, and as I do, I briefly turn behind me taking la last glance at the enemy before turning away. They showed no action, but my sensations were saying, the person was alone, and tried keeping it cool by staying as long as possible inside the truck. In the end, he only made it all look so sketchy and too obvious his presence even in the vehicle.
Since no one stayed behind alone, then that's the reason he wouldn't get off, not giving him enough opportunity to react to his evil doings.
The girls walked in front of me and also had stationed their car beside mine, which was a great thing. I couldn't imagine myself or them parking next to or behind the bleachers where the suspicious truck was at. --They spoke not a word and left.--
INVESTIGATING THE DEVILS FOOTSTEPS
When I got inside my car, beforehand, I made sure it was safe in the backseat. I locked the doors and sealed the windows, then buckled up. I powered the engine on, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. I wanted to see from a distance what they would do, knowing no one was at the track anymore.
Seconds later, the driver slowly paces back the truck, finally driving off. I knew then, the monster was real and the whole time my instincts were always reaching out trying to warn me, but I failed for I couldn't grasp the signs.
--I wasn't comfortable as I drove back home. After what happened, "how could I be?" I was only thankful to be alive. But "what if" would cross my mind.--
THE AFTERMATH
After that episode, time passed and I returned once more and hesitated going by myself but still attempted but with more precaution. I felt nothing unusual and every time kept an eye out for that truck or by any means any vehicle looking wary.
Observing the place, the truck never appeared again, as I didn't feel comfortable being there anymore at the tracks. I preferred to end the walking habit at the tracks cause I didn't want to risk it.
I hadn't had told my parents cause I didn't want to worry them. --However, after hesitating and having courage I told them everything that happened that day.--
THEY ARE ANGELS
My dad listened, he didn't look worried or got mad for going without someone else accompanying me, or even not letting them know about my whereabouts after work, but instead, he wisely said, "It's not precisely instincts but angels." I stayed quiet and tried telling him otherwise my odd sensations and how it all happened before knowing the truth of my instincts warnings but my dad with a big smile said leaning forward for me and said, "IT'S ANGELS"... and I said, "oh ok"... Then I came to the conclusion; "That hey maybe it was angels"... The girls were beholding angels in them and helped me see the view of my surroundings better. If they didn't and if I'd be even stupid to stay alone after they left, even so, feeling such senses, I probably wouldn't be talking sharing my story to everyone as I speak right now. I believe my dad is right and truly there are Angelics amongst us protecting our presence against evil always, especially if it's not our time.
They are our instincts, we have to know how to listen and learn how to follow their guidance with puzzle hints that clearly show around.
Remember: --Never doubt your intuitions, they might save your life.--
My summer of June/July of 2007 started with a fresh hard breakup. The relationship lasted five years, and It was a duece-year hell process that made it tough to manage. It was painful, but I figured walking would help me cope with it. For my sake avoiding home was necessary because it'd only raise my anhedonia and anxieties.
I needed to do much outside activity of any sort, whether it would be going to the library, to a restaurant, to the movies even if alone or to a friend's house and stay long hours. I just didn't want to go home cause every time I went home it would weaken me and I'd cry so much till it would knock me to sleep and the next day, my nightmare starts again only I'm awake and it wouldn't stop.
I worked as a hairstylist in League City Texas, In that time I was 32 years old a very single person. The breakup I was going through really tore me up so bad that it wouldn't be even easy working. As working, I could feel my anxieties and nerves giving me even hard chills to keep me from concentrating well on my work. I every time wanted to tear up but I held it in. The only way I could control it was talking, talking and talking, a lot with customers and laughing taking longer then what I was supposed to. I just needed and knew I had to keep my mind very occupied and talking helped me a lot. My boss really didn't like I talked too much on one customer but didn't understand what all was going on with me, but she didn't say much.
The sadder part is I never expressed to my parents how I deeply felt about the breakup and I never cried either in front of them. My dad knew once I told him and he just stayed silent. My mother didn't try questioning me either, I preferred it that way cause I didn't want to be lectured or cry as they talked to me, that's just how much pride I had.
In respect, he didn't try talking to me but one time I was sadly looking at one of my ex pictures sadly in a very focused way. Then one of my sisters only three years younger than me, suddenly laughs and says, "Haha, she is sad cause she not with Christian no more!" and I said, "shut up!!!" My dad got on to her to stop. --She only made me cry more and I go back to my damn punishing room where I shedded so much pain of melancholy behind dark walls.--
TEMPTED TO THE FORBIDDEN FRUITS SIN
I many occasions even went to see psychic's to keep me from going home but I was curious also in wanting know about my future so I'd spent my money to the future tellers since I needed know and didn't care to waste my money on that as I felt it was my money and just simply needed to know about my future and if anything with my ex would be apart of it in a happy ending.
After several, I visited I do recall one revealed my future saying that my ex she sees him around me, but no future was showing together. It really upsetted me and I even refused to believe that! She told me another man is around interested in me. When she said that, I only wanted to know that I'd be with my ex again, but never got the answers I sought. --I was very in denial with myself and very determined to get the real truth and soon eventually in another story, I'll wind up sharing, I'd get the true fact of my beloved ex.--
FORGIVENCE, NEEDING GOD BACK IN MY HEART
I now regret going to them and feel ashamed for going to them in first place cause it is against what God feels and as Catholic, I should have trusted and put more faith in God, in the future he has prepared for me but as a Christian in that broken transition I was going through I failed and the devil had me addicted to it very easily, he knew I was very depressed, lost of hope, desperate, and anxious. He knew I needed direct live answers.
I was very impatient and I kept going to be a stupid puppet for the prohibited path. Yes, they made me feel very at home with them but only welcoming me to take my hard-earned money, I could've used for more important things.
My eyes were blinded and trance away from reality and if I'm very honest with myself, leaving the psychic's home, I felt ok and smiled for a little while but then after a day or two, I still felt very empty and darkness would prevail on me again and I would feel the need to go back after I had made more money or would try seeing cheaper ones.
It was a very bad crumbled downfall time for me. I kept my life even prisoned in a huge wide nutshell keeping it the same distance where I'd drive to. I would only allow myself to go to certain places, avoiding the outside world to make contact with me. I went same areas same places, the paths I took was always the same pattern and same routine and even that time I tired my best friend which now is my ex-best friend, (we unfriend 2012 or 2013) that got so annoyed by my same crying over and over till she said, "Ok enough!! So after knowing she got fed up hearing me, I felt my doors with her were now closed and that is when I went less to see her and started drifting off to those places of strangers to just even have someone I could talk to even if it costed me.
Realistically, when you sickly in love and broken-hearted you don't realize or care how you doing things. You just try doing something that might find you some kind of peace and healing to soothe you inside. --In all truth, nothing will and I just didn't even pray and eventually God made me see things a lot different further ahead.--
HELPING MY MIND WITH A DAILY ACTIVITY
I had been going to do walking at a school track in Pearland as part of my everyday routine after work. Whatever usually I had worked in I'd go just like that and that day I will tell my story I had simple clothes shirt pants and low ankle type boots that were not uncomfortable. Even if I had mid-heels I'd go walking like that, so it didn't matter for me as long I kept my walking at track routine going. Nothing was gonna stop me. So one fine evening I did just that.
So overwhelmed and glad work was over, after 5 pm, I went to a school racetrack. Near the exit, I parked next to a green small dumpster. I kept my red beauty close by so I wouldn't have to return to my car so far.
I locked my Ford Taurus and brought along my MP3 with my headset.
After thirty minutes, I saw two females approaching. They were African-American teens. One young lady had excessive weight, the other thin gal was practicing her running speed while the heavy girl timed her. A few people were there but soon left.
I was afraid I'd be on my own, so I maintained a counter-clockwise direction to keep them in sight.
THE FIRST ODD INSTINCT
I had walked three laps, but out of the blue, I sensed something odd. I thought to myself--it's just my depression trying to weaken me again. I shook it off, I kept enjoying my music as I continued on. --Everything looking normal and the evening pleasant I couldn't let a small gut feeling change that.--
THE SECOND ODD INSTINCT
After another lap, the same sensation of Déjà vu feeling again. Chills began as a truck drove by on the road of the sidetrack I was at. My conscience prompted me to pay attention to that truck. I said to myself, "A TRUCK!?" Why am I focusing on a truck? I didn't like the distraction cause I was trying to enjoy my short time before it gets darker, cause once it did I'd have to leave as its scarier and all leave a bit after it gets dark.
--I continued walking forgetting what all I felt.--
THE FINAL INSTINCT WARNING
After a final lap, on the same side of the track, I noticed the heavier teen yelling at me from the bleachers but the distance between us and the music from my headset made it hard to hear her. After turning off the music, I shouted: I can't hear you!" I stood where I was, they decided to then approach towards me since I couldn't hear them. I waited for them to come closer as all seemed pretty tranquil.
Once they got near me, I uttered, "what, did you say?" She replied, "I don't know if you noticed, but there's a light tan gold truck with headlights on just watching us."
At the moment she said that, I felt like jello...
Cause I kept getting strange vibes from just seeing some random truck I have no clue as to why?? Then she mentions a truck and it really got me paranoid after that.
Silently I was freaking out and nervous out of my mind wondering, "Could it be a coincidence?" I reacted calmly and responded, "what truck"? (Pointing with her eyes) she stated, "that truck."
THE TRUCKS REVELATION TRUTH
To the right of me, besides the grandstands, the unknown stalker was there with the vehicle powered on but I was unable to see their identity due to the tinted windows. It was a type of a low pick-up truck and it gave me bad chills that my arm hairs even stood up.
I was hypnotized for a moment as I felt a dark energy emerge. I felt like they were waiting for my isolation, not precisely the girls. I knew without a doubt the stranger's eyes targeted me and no one else. They wanted me badly I could feel it.
Hushing my fear, not to give panic to the youngsters, they just stared with an innocent silence onto me, awaiting my response. --They didn't show any fear of any but mentally I was and I had to maintain calm so they see I wasn't afraid and neither do the bastards in the damn truck see my face reactions.--
IT'S TIME TO GO
I then said maturely, "They're waiting for one of us to be alone," the thinner minor said. "What should we do?" I answered "we should go."
We walk off as I am behind them, and as I do, I briefly turn behind me taking la last glance at the enemy before turning away. They showed no action, but my sensations were saying, the person was alone, and tried keeping it cool by staying as long as possible inside the truck. In the end, he only made it all look so sketchy and too obvious his presence even in the vehicle.
Since no one stayed behind alone, then that's the reason he wouldn't get off, not giving him enough opportunity to react to his evil doings.
The girls walked in front of me and also had stationed their car beside mine, which was a great thing. I couldn't imagine myself or them parking next to or behind the bleachers where the suspicious truck was at. --They spoke not a word and left.--
INVESTIGATING THE DEVILS FOOTSTEPS
When I got inside my car, beforehand, I made sure it was safe in the backseat. I locked the doors and sealed the windows, then buckled up. I powered the engine on, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. I wanted to see from a distance what they would do, knowing no one was at the track anymore.
Seconds later, the driver slowly paces back the truck, finally driving off. I knew then, the monster was real and the whole time my instincts were always reaching out trying to warn me, but I failed for I couldn't grasp the signs.
--I wasn't comfortable as I drove back home. After what happened, "how could I be?" I was only thankful to be alive. But "what if" would cross my mind.--
THE AFTERMATH
After that episode, time passed and I returned once more and hesitated going by myself but still attempted but with more precaution. I felt nothing unusual and every time kept an eye out for that truck or by any means any vehicle looking wary.
Observing the place, the truck never appeared again, as I didn't feel comfortable being there anymore at the tracks. I preferred to end the walking habit at the tracks cause I didn't want to risk it.
I hadn't had told my parents cause I didn't want to worry them. --However, after hesitating and having courage I told them everything that happened that day.--
THEY ARE ANGELS
My dad listened, he didn't look worried or got mad for going without someone else accompanying me, or even not letting them know about my whereabouts after work, but instead, he wisely said, "It's not precisely instincts but angels." I stayed quiet and tried telling him otherwise my odd sensations and how it all happened before knowing the truth of my instincts warnings but my dad with a big smile said leaning forward for me and said, "IT'S ANGELS"... and I said, "oh ok"... Then I came to the conclusion; "That hey maybe it was angels"... The girls were beholding angels in them and helped me see the view of my surroundings better. If they didn't and if I'd be even stupid to stay alone after they left, even so, feeling such senses, I probably wouldn't be talking sharing my story to everyone as I speak right now. I believe my dad is right and truly there are Angelics amongst us protecting our presence against evil always, especially if it's not our time.
They are our instincts, we have to know how to listen and learn how to follow their guidance with puzzle hints that clearly show around.
Remember: --Never doubt your intuitions, they might save your life.--
Published 15th Jan 2020
Author's Note
A TRUE STORY THAT HAPPENED TO ME MANY YEARS AGO BEFORE I BECAME A MOM.
HOPE ALL WILL LIKE THANKS...
HOPE ALL WILL LIKE THANKS...
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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15th Jan 2020 12:40pm
its true one should always follow your instincts that deep digging of your gut feeling is there for a reason, WOW... i must say you been through alot within your life i am proud of your achievements for thyself that you have achieve along the way through the struggles like they say when you can tell your story and not cry means you have become stronger within strenght with a voice that will be heard...respect this is truly a deep and passionate piece of life
15th Jan 2020 2:58pm
Thanks hun i appreciate the time you took to read my biggest story of my life that really to this day still scares me and wondering about it all. The story was less written and i decided to add more and edit a lot more to to make it more enjoyable to read. There were many mistakes and glad i made time past night to fix it all. Now I'm happy with it and better story.
Yes we have that gut feeling for a reason but not many pay attention to it and i guess they get what comes to then after that. I realize i gave a gift a strong one and have noticed it for long time. I sense things and then i later realize i should've done what i was getting sensation senses about.
Yes i been through a lot and even more as you have no idea what all but I'll try writing about it. They are big things and i need write to let people know to make better choices than i had, or just do something else to avoid doing something one could regret forever.
Well sometimes its hard and I'll cry telling my story but at times i don't cry but ill shed a tear but its cause it is strong episodes of my life i had gone through and time has me still in this world for a purpose and as a mom , he knows i need be there for her and she needs me. It's just difficult the things I have to pass by but its just one's fate of life.
Thank you for liking my important artifact of my life and pass it on to others to avoid getting harmed in any way. 🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤❤
Yes we have that gut feeling for a reason but not many pay attention to it and i guess they get what comes to then after that. I realize i gave a gift a strong one and have noticed it for long time. I sense things and then i later realize i should've done what i was getting sensation senses about.
Yes i been through a lot and even more as you have no idea what all but I'll try writing about it. They are big things and i need write to let people know to make better choices than i had, or just do something else to avoid doing something one could regret forever.
Well sometimes its hard and I'll cry telling my story but at times i don't cry but ill shed a tear but its cause it is strong episodes of my life i had gone through and time has me still in this world for a purpose and as a mom , he knows i need be there for her and she needs me. It's just difficult the things I have to pass by but its just one's fate of life.
Thank you for liking my important artifact of my life and pass it on to others to avoid getting harmed in any way. 🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤❤
15th Jan 2020 7:35pm
thank you for sharing your story of truth and honesty i am a firm believer we all have an story to tell about life the good the bad even the things that we will take to our grave, for we all gonna make mistakes for we are only human sometimes even afraid to step out of the norm cause we've been hurt so much during this cycle of life, for our biggest mistakes we make we dont truly pay attention to our gut feelings that flag waving in front of our face because we want it to be rare and real but its not any of that at all in the real facet of reality,for you have gone tthrough alot in your life but by going through somethings and not so much giving back to thyself but dewell upon the what ifs, we just give them what they want and need then we will be complete then maybe we will recieve the same things in return, yet that sometimes aint true for there comes the tears the lonely nights mix with days filled with tears of hurt with pain, but through your struggles you found your inner voice to speak even when the silent tears falls down your face away from open eyes to see but always remember you not here for them but for your child and thyself...respect dear poetess for wisdom is knowledge and yes knowledge is power of growth...STONEY223
15th Jan 2020 11:50pm
You welcome hun, well we don't want to step out cause the pain is very strong and controlling us like if it was a virus. When in all reality it could of been controlled and not go through that all but we all feel that and have to go through that process to understand how life works. Like the Spanish songs goes, its things of love that some with make you laugh some make you cry. It's a living experience and it'll happen many times the pain till will understand and say hey can't take all people seriously lol
Like now days i don't believe no guys anymore so i just let them say what they want but in mind that they could be playing around.
Well i now days still feel depressed and i have to be smart with it and its not easy but one day I'm very down for whatever reason them it passes in a day or two. Then my instincts i still have them i feel strange thing especially with people. My mom dies have her natural mother instinct several times and felt danger happening to me and would call me to see if i am ok. I would tell her yes I'm fine but i didnt tell her what happened minutes before her calling, cause i didnt want worry her. But she had a reason everytime to be worried cause evil was lurking around me in those times. I even felt shocked she sensed something but as a mom i sensed things with my daughter a lil too. I be time felt something odd well actually a vision then a thought of my daughter going missing at store with my dad niece and nephew there. Cause they went to store, and like after a lil bit i felt something i saw like my daughter missing in my mind it just out if nowhere appeared, but i didnt react cause i said no that's 's my silly thoughts creating such non-sense and my dad would call.
Well like after they came home all was together with my daughter so i felt all was ok and my crazy thought was wrong, but then my dad says you know what happened? I said what? Aeris suddenly got lost and we couldn't find her. We couldn't see her and panicked. Then they heard on the speaker loud saying grandpa come for aeris and my dad then knew where to go and was relieved. She couldn't remember my dads name so she said grandpa and well he said she got distracted with the candy isle at register and then they couldn't see her she was found by register lady and they kept her till my dad got there. When i heard this i was in shock cause it was true my sudden instinct thoughts of a vision my daughter going missing but i ignored it. I hated myself for not putting it attention but now i know i gotta pay attention to any if i a thought suddenly appears.
My instincts are pretty strong and i need use them wisely.
Like now days i don't believe no guys anymore so i just let them say what they want but in mind that they could be playing around.
Well i now days still feel depressed and i have to be smart with it and its not easy but one day I'm very down for whatever reason them it passes in a day or two. Then my instincts i still have them i feel strange thing especially with people. My mom dies have her natural mother instinct several times and felt danger happening to me and would call me to see if i am ok. I would tell her yes I'm fine but i didnt tell her what happened minutes before her calling, cause i didnt want worry her. But she had a reason everytime to be worried cause evil was lurking around me in those times. I even felt shocked she sensed something but as a mom i sensed things with my daughter a lil too. I be time felt something odd well actually a vision then a thought of my daughter going missing at store with my dad niece and nephew there. Cause they went to store, and like after a lil bit i felt something i saw like my daughter missing in my mind it just out if nowhere appeared, but i didnt react cause i said no that's 's my silly thoughts creating such non-sense and my dad would call.
Well like after they came home all was together with my daughter so i felt all was ok and my crazy thought was wrong, but then my dad says you know what happened? I said what? Aeris suddenly got lost and we couldn't find her. We couldn't see her and panicked. Then they heard on the speaker loud saying grandpa come for aeris and my dad then knew where to go and was relieved. She couldn't remember my dads name so she said grandpa and well he said she got distracted with the candy isle at register and then they couldn't see her she was found by register lady and they kept her till my dad got there. When i heard this i was in shock cause it was true my sudden instinct thoughts of a vision my daughter going missing but i ignored it. I hated myself for not putting it attention but now i know i gotta pay attention to any if i a thought suddenly appears.
My instincts are pretty strong and i need use them wisely.
