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Suicide

All these thoughts in my mind they won't leave me alone.

I can scream that I'm happy but on the inside I know that I'm lying.

I'm here on the outside but on the inside I just need to be alone.

I feel trapped again in my mind, in my home.

I go to sleep wishing that I would just stop surviving, I'm not thriving.

The thought crosses my mind too much.

I'm too weak.

I'm not enough.

I never really was.

Look at all this pain and grief I've caused.

I'm not just lost, I'm a lost cause.

Finding excuses to hurt myself because my mind is off track, I've been giving myself too much slack.

Stuck is temporary this feeling is constant, it doesn't change, if I can't figure this out how is my life supposed to rearrange itself?

I'm not saying that I wake up praying for my life to be over I'm just saying if it was would it even really matter?

I'm a terrible person full self rooted hate.

I tried to fix this but I'm way too late.

I can't expect anyone else to relate


This feeling, it's way too much for me to take.

I don't want to be selfish, I just think life is too great.

All my life I was taught to hate

I'm learning to love but still I fail at the simple tasks of giving in way too late.

I take people for granted because I still go back to a place where they can't relate and I don't have the patience to wait.

I love to love them but I bring trouble and too much weight.

I have so much energy for the wrong type of people and not enough for the people that sit here and wait for me to pick myself up and tell me I'm great.

My mind works in such a unusual way it tells me to love others but then tells me to give up and end my life today and everyday and I just don't understand it.

I try to get ahold of myself but my brain it just crashes.
Written by Jonestyra
Published
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