deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Raven’s Shadow
the raven’s shadow
paid me a visit today;
she always reminds me
after a drink or two
why I don’t hang around
with her anymore;
rude,
she pulls up a chair,
always uninvited
and helps herself
to my best,
taking shot after shot
until there’s nothing left
except this ache
digging deep into my chest,
is this constant fight all there is?
I try so hard to remember -
those days when I was happy
when the hell was that?
whatever passes for peace
when you try to fill
a cracked glass
full of the finest
only means
you’ll keep trying
to top me off,
go ahead please, I’m begging you
but it’s just going to drip
from between my poorly glued pieces,
thrown to the floor
so many times
they’ll never fit flush again;
it all escapes me,
and I’m terrified
it’ll never be enough
to make me feel full -
not that I’d really recognize
the caress of true contentment,
would I?
my head is so heavy,
resting comfortably now
in her lap;
thoughts shuffle along
in lazy contempt
for their usual
frantic pace -
mocking, they parade
through the emptiness
as she strokes my hair
and whispers in my ear,
it’s ok to feel nothing
and it must be,
because I can’t
I’m going to pretend
I believe her, either way
just for a little while -
it’s better to rest here
in this dense, gray fortress
than to draw sharp red lines
in soft white skin,
forcing the emotion
to the surface;
that’s an ancient trick
and I’m a wise old dog
with new magic
inside these scarred sleeves
there can only be this
for now -
just her and me,
luna melancholy;
she’ll grow bored
with my yearning,
my reaching
for the light switch;
she’ll get tired
of trying
to pry my fist open
where the last black shred
of my hope is gripped
with such force of will,
it’s diamond-tough
and then I’ll kiss her
goodnight,
softly on the lips,
with all my love
given in exchange
for her protection;
black hair flipped over
her slim shoulders,
she’ll leave quietly
into the darkness
until the next time
I need her
to stem the bleeding
of a life lived
in constant battle
paid me a visit today;
she always reminds me
after a drink or two
why I don’t hang around
with her anymore;
rude,
she pulls up a chair,
always uninvited
and helps herself
to my best,
taking shot after shot
until there’s nothing left
except this ache
digging deep into my chest,
is this constant fight all there is?
I try so hard to remember -
those days when I was happy
when the hell was that?
whatever passes for peace
when you try to fill
a cracked glass
full of the finest
only means
you’ll keep trying
to top me off,
go ahead please, I’m begging you
but it’s just going to drip
from between my poorly glued pieces,
thrown to the floor
so many times
they’ll never fit flush again;
it all escapes me,
and I’m terrified
it’ll never be enough
to make me feel full -
not that I’d really recognize
the caress of true contentment,
would I?
my head is so heavy,
resting comfortably now
in her lap;
thoughts shuffle along
in lazy contempt
for their usual
frantic pace -
mocking, they parade
through the emptiness
as she strokes my hair
and whispers in my ear,
it’s ok to feel nothing
and it must be,
because I can’t
I’m going to pretend
I believe her, either way
just for a little while -
it’s better to rest here
in this dense, gray fortress
than to draw sharp red lines
in soft white skin,
forcing the emotion
to the surface;
that’s an ancient trick
and I’m a wise old dog
with new magic
inside these scarred sleeves
there can only be this
for now -
just her and me,
luna melancholy;
she’ll grow bored
with my yearning,
my reaching
for the light switch;
she’ll get tired
of trying
to pry my fist open
where the last black shred
of my hope is gripped
with such force of will,
it’s diamond-tough
and then I’ll kiss her
goodnight,
softly on the lips,
with all my love
given in exchange
for her protection;
black hair flipped over
her slim shoulders,
she’ll leave quietly
into the darkness
until the next time
I need her
to stem the bleeding
of a life lived
in constant battle
Published 9th Jan 2020
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9th Jan 2020 8:20am
9th Jan 2020 4:38pm
She may or may not be beautiful, but she protects. Way to showcase the best of one of your inner dark angels. 🖤
9th Jan 2020 9:24pm
Powerful catharsis, reckoning and reconstitution of splintered aspects of self. This reminds me of a ship from the Halo universe, it's name was Truth and Reconciliation. Luna flavored melancholy indeed sugah. I feel you. *hugs*
14th Jan 2020 6:02am
