Livers lose

A concious state of mind  
Mind the step don't miss it  
Freedom from a numb sadistic  
That dense state of mind  
or mind of the state  
blast it I self actuate  
self-afflicted crimes astray  
Sinister sins a sinister gate  

And somewhere I'm immaculate  
Where my legs been?  
Deep until the pegstand  
cut off the legs been  
Reality or realty  
they're squealing for cash  
and feeling the rash  
A gradual disconnect from this, really  
And though I missed them  
what answers best, I do confess  
I miss remorse, and my recourse?  
Dismiss with force!  
Pour bad feats and virtues  
in to  
the beliefs to be a good dude  
And though I wouldn't hurt you  
and though I'm feeling hurt too  
I'd like to sink  
to be the lining of the rink  
A shrink, the crashcourse reflects  
with the body as a speck  
verse the universe  
to tell you what hurts too  
the slit slashed verse blue  
the mismatched are cursed with words  
skewed, too many  
clear to few  
through and through, perhaps I blew me off  
or was it you who did me wrong?  
I scoff  
or purps what skewed me  
to which what is true  
to the which we can't undo  
once we're so far gone  
that the purpose loses cue  
and that  
purpose loses hue  
all colors blend  
and black and white are friends  
a silent night with my amends  
I reprimand, still I descend.  
 
..  
 
..  
 
But I'm glad I've made these changes  
It's me or then  
It's me and them,  
not me and them  
Just free and then  
I bleed to bend  
I send the teeter  
Some cabin fever  
Dream I'm crunk  
Drink and spout  
A shrinkled shroud  
I pout to learn  
The court adjearns with a hammer  
These words stammer  
These livers lose