deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Wintry Shore
new year’s day
the deserted shore
specs of rain muddy the sand
the tide rushes backwards
waves that crescendo
hammering against rocks
as temperatures drop
and dusk falls
night
the deserted shore
specs of rain muddy the sand
the tide rushes backwards
waves that crescendo
hammering against rocks
as temperatures drop
and dusk falls
night
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 322
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. The Wintry Shore
7th Jan 2020 9:56pm
I personally don't think you need 'night' Lozzamus. Dusk falls implies it. . .
I do love the imagery of this, because I love the beach in winter time. There is something magical about the solitude of it all. It has so much to give despite the cold. On the contrary, it gives more to those who love year round.
I do love the imagery of this, because I love the beach in winter time. There is something magical about the solitude of it all. It has so much to give despite the cold. On the contrary, it gives more to those who love year round.
1
Re. The Wintry Shore
7th Jan 2020 11:00pm
Perhaps "spec" an alternative spelling of "speck" I'm not familiar with ...?
Son of a veach, that sounds cold! But I'll take it over a sea of snow any day.
Son of a veach, that sounds cold! But I'll take it over a sea of snow any day.
1
Re: Re. The Wintry Shore
8th Jan 2020 8:11pm
Re. The Wintry Shore
7th Jan 2020 11:53pm
Really strong images and atmospherics, cold but very enjoyable walk you took me on. Thank you
1
Re: Re. The Wintry Shore
8th Jan 2020 8:09pm
Re. The Wintry Shore
8th Jan 2020 00:49am
Great imagery here Lozzamus. I can feel the sharp cold. Well done.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
1
Re: Re. The Wintry Shore
8th Jan 2020 8:05pm
Re. The Wintry Shore
14th Jan 2020 11:58am
Good to visit you Lozzamus.
I think that this piece is easy to read and describes the scene very well.
I would change spec to 'speck' personally though. Speck as in speck of rain, dust etc. I take spec to be the abbreviation for specification ~ but what the hell, everyone knows what you mean.
I would keep the ultimate 'night' as it closes the poem excellently.
The reason that I have ticked the like box is because I like it!
Kind regards, Alan
I think that this piece is easy to read and describes the scene very well.
I would change spec to 'speck' personally though. Speck as in speck of rain, dust etc. I take spec to be the abbreviation for specification ~ but what the hell, everyone knows what you mean.
I would keep the ultimate 'night' as it closes the poem excellently.
The reason that I have ticked the like box is because I like it!
Kind regards, Alan
1
Re: Re. The Wintry Shore
14th Jan 2020 9:30pm