worries of the past effect the future

no matter how much I try not the worry if my past will haunt me
no matter how much i try not to look back there is always pain
everything that i have been through is who I am
people do not understand what it is like for me to go outside alone
being alone is the biggest fear of someone that has what I have
the unknown is what scares most people like me
the nightmares and the flashbacks do not help in trying to go forward
the anxiety attacks are worse than most
no matter how much coping techniques i use most do not work for me
the worst is when I see the faces that hurt in the past
never knowing when they will appear
never knowing if they will be there to cause pain
emotional is the worst that anyone in my position deals with
the physical pain is only temporary
the worst part of dealing with the emotional is people think i am crazy
Chronic PTSD is nothing to laugh about
nothing to make fun of
nothing is ever the same after something bad happens
can never trust the same people like before
always cautious about who is around you at that moment
cautious about who can be trusted with you past
never the same after it happens
never believed it by people
once the trust is broken like this
it will never be the same as it once was