Lost Soul

This is a memoir,
A tale about love.
A story about a girl,
Who's now an angel up above.

Taken too soon by,
Workers from hell.
Now this is her story,
That she could never tell.

To understand this soul,
Let's go back a few years.
To a time in her life,
When she was close to her peers.

The eldest of six,
But back then it was three,
Big sister to all and
All a daughter could be.

An actress, a model,
Ballet Superstar.
This girl had some talent,
Told would always go far.

This was always to be,
Her path was so clear.
But then something called love,
Just suddenly appeared.

She fell for another,
Who's gaze was hypnotic.
Felt instantly for him,
Not knowing he's psychotic.

At first she was happy,
Life’s great a perfect time.
Then money started to get,
Really really fine.

He would spend all she had,
Kept wanting more.
Saying he was looking for work,
“I love you”, 20 draw?

After a while
His addiction got to her,
But not in a way,
Where she saw his worth.

She started using,
Couldn't take the stress.
She loved him so much,
Didn't want anything less.

At first is was..
Just to calm her down,
A edge taker, nothing heavy..
One time around.

She wished she could of..
Taken it right back,
But the feeling it gave her,
Had such a smack.

On her life in that moment
All troubles had gone,
No money worries,
NOTHING AT ALL...Was wrong.

It was only after her..
Little trip,
Did she soon feel a low,
A sudden hit.

A rush of emotions,
All piled up in stacks.
All issues in life,
That she put to the back.

Gripping her mind
In a toxic like glove,
The lowest she been
Now in walks her love.

He walks over towards her,
Places his hand on her back,
Moves her hair from her face
And kisses her neck.

He tells her “it's ok,
Things are gonna be alright”..
While he hands her a joint
Then hands her the light.

She's crying, feeling drained,
Just wanting to escape..
Then she takes a toke,
Suddenly feeling very strange..

It's not a
Normal high,
Nothing green
About this smoke?

"It's just a little white, go on take a few more tokes"

She's hazy, her worlds spinning,
She doesn't have a clue..
He's over by the couch
Lining up another few.

As she stumbles to the bathroom
Trying to get a grip.
Looking for her bag,
Finding nothing in it.

All contents on the floor,
No money in sight.
She looks over towards him,
And he asks for a light.

Its obvious to her,
But she wants to hear it from him,
His temper arises,
And he goes for a swing!

She falls to the ground, saying..
 "I know it's not you!"
He kindly helps her up,
And walks her to the lou..

Saying..

"Sorry baby boo,
You just get me so angry,
When you say things
I didn't do"

She walks out
From the bathroom,
He floods her
With his touch.

Holds her close,
Saying sorry,
Gripping her,
Way too much!

She try's to pull away
He pulls her in his space,
Saying "sorry babe! I love you"
Then he forces in fast pace!

Although this is this first time,
It happens for years to come,
But this is the very moment
That brought it all on

Over time she lost it all,
Nothing left but only him.
Never finding the strength to
Really make a grin.

He used her
For cash
Treated her body
As asset,

Doing things she
Didn't want to,
Maked him money
For their habit..

Made her sell out
On the corner,
For their daily
Rush amount,

All the time
She is thinking
Please someone!
Help me out!

Her family at this time
Were now scattered all around
Wanting her safety
Trying to bring her too closer ground.

But she couldn't leave the country,
As this was down to him.
She got arrested for possession,
And done for smuggling.

He left a stash at her place,
That was stolen from a gang
Police came banging at her door,
And dragged her in a van.

After doing time
For his actions,
She was never
Quite the same.

Entire life
Fucked over,
Prick!
Nowhere to be blamed.

She's running from her life,
No other way she sees
Trying to heal the pain
But can never feel a breeze

Disconnected from the world
No other way she knows
Trapped in a net of
Misery from those..

Lost soul.
She’s a lost,
Lost soul.


By
#thebeatpoetuk
Niall Alexander
2020