You are a Part of Me

For some time
I started Denying You
I started to Deny what we had
But what I see is that
Denying you is literally
denying a whole part of me life

I would be denying
that I've loved
That I felt heartbroken
And started on the process
Of healing
I would be denying that
I have changed
Denying that a part of me
has never felt the same since

And in this denial

I would be pretending
to be someone I am not

The truth is you are a part of me
There are habits I have developed
now because of you
There are tastes which
I've learned to love
And experiences only you hold of me

But I am tired of living
Like you never existed
I am tired of living
In the shadow of what
We used to have

My heart is still hurting
Even though I have tried to move on
In a way I still miss you
But what's funny is that
I'm not actually in love with you

I guess it's the company
That I miss
I just miss being open
I miss learning about someone
Just for the sake of loving them
I miss the inside jokes
And all the conversations

You have contributed to who I am
And for that I am grateful
But it is time to move on now
And do so for real

I will no longer deny you
But I can no longer have you
All I have now is myself
And it is from this point
That I shall rebuild

For we are all a part of each other
And understanding is in our nature
It is how we grow
It is how we cut the time of learning
Things on our own
And once one stop denying this
Only then can one be free