deepundergroundpoetry.com
No, I dont want to talk about it
How do I explain myself?
Cause my anger is misplaced.
It's like, I wanna be by myself, but not feel alone.
And I wanna skip out on life, but life's not allowed to go on without me.
It's all twisted cause I dream of leaving an impression, but I dont want anything to touch me.
Yet every moment leaves its mark.
How can I be so shallow and hollow, but feel so deeply?
I miss drugs. I miss the void and loss of inhibition.
Seriously, when did I forget how to be human?
Anything is better than this... nothing would even be better.
I freakin hate me.
Cause my anger is misplaced.
It's like, I wanna be by myself, but not feel alone.
And I wanna skip out on life, but life's not allowed to go on without me.
It's all twisted cause I dream of leaving an impression, but I dont want anything to touch me.
Yet every moment leaves its mark.
How can I be so shallow and hollow, but feel so deeply?
I miss drugs. I miss the void and loss of inhibition.
Seriously, when did I forget how to be human?
Anything is better than this... nothing would even be better.
I freakin hate me.
Published 2nd Jan 2020
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2nd Jan 2020 3:54am
Heartfelt and true to thyself. Sorry you're feeling so down - best wishes, and I hope you feel better soon. I liked your emotional little spill...
2nd Jan 2020 4:02am
Minus the final 5 lines, this is what many an autistic person thinks (feels) but is unable to communicate
and so is misunderstood and classified into a box -- usually incorrectly.
I love this line:
" And I wanna skip out on life, but life's not allowed to go on without me. "
It spills of hope......HOPEFUL,
and just want to be understood and heard but don't invade my space.
You have shared with us concisely and honestly and that's courage
and i am honored to have been allowed to see a little bit more of You from within...........
Your Feelings (positive and / or negative) are (all) Validated, here
I pray You grow to know YOU more and deeper and more kind
Love this spill...............
and so is misunderstood and classified into a box -- usually incorrectly.
I love this line:
" And I wanna skip out on life, but life's not allowed to go on without me. "
It spills of hope......HOPEFUL,
and just want to be understood and heard but don't invade my space.
You have shared with us concisely and honestly and that's courage
and i am honored to have been allowed to see a little bit more of You from within...........
Your Feelings (positive and / or negative) are (all) Validated, here
I pray You grow to know YOU more and deeper and more kind
Love this spill...............
2nd Jan 2020 4:24am
Honestly I have felt like this most of my life... and I was tested for Autism a few times as a child... (mostly because I didnt speak when I was spoken to) maybe i do fall somewhere on the spectrum... And I have been clean for almost 12 years, but the desire to escape never seems to leave me.
2nd Jan 2020 4:36am
When i was in the 2nd grade in Hawaii,
i had to see a Speech Therapist.
She taught me how to speak to people and have them understand me (kind of). For me, it's an ongoing everlasting battle -- this shit called human communication. With Flora and Fauna, i've rarely had problems but with human beings........
It wasn't until while serving in the USAF, i got seen and tested and diagnosed, schizophrenic -- explained much for me but not everything.
I have Friends who believe i am an Asperger's being. Maybe, anything is possible.
Try not to let whatever You believe (or have been told) You have to get You down.
Fuck Yeah, it's a struggle -- sometimes every effin day and night but call someone -- i can't tell You how many times i've called the 1-800 Helpline for U.S. Veterans and the Suicide Prevention lines last year!!
It much HELP because i am typing this, this year to You.
i had to see a Speech Therapist.
She taught me how to speak to people and have them understand me (kind of). For me, it's an ongoing everlasting battle -- this shit called human communication. With Flora and Fauna, i've rarely had problems but with human beings........
It wasn't until while serving in the USAF, i got seen and tested and diagnosed, schizophrenic -- explained much for me but not everything.
I have Friends who believe i am an Asperger's being. Maybe, anything is possible.
Try not to let whatever You believe (or have been told) You have to get You down.
Fuck Yeah, it's a struggle -- sometimes every effin day and night but call someone -- i can't tell You how many times i've called the 1-800 Helpline for U.S. Veterans and the Suicide Prevention lines last year!!
It much HELP because i am typing this, this year to You.
2nd Jan 2020 4:12am
Dear V,
Ditto the above comments.
After reading this “How can I be so shallow and hollow, but feel so deeply. ”. I would have to say the exact opposite, you are anything but shallow and hollow. It appears to me you are a very caring and sensitive person with a great capacity of feeling. Anger and hurt is an isolating situation and it’s difficult to reach out to let someone share that with you but you’ve just done it in your incredible poem! Well done! You have captured thoughts and feelings many have experienced and extremely well. Great write! H🌷
Ditto the above comments.
After reading this “How can I be so shallow and hollow, but feel so deeply. ”. I would have to say the exact opposite, you are anything but shallow and hollow. It appears to me you are a very caring and sensitive person with a great capacity of feeling. Anger and hurt is an isolating situation and it’s difficult to reach out to let someone share that with you but you’ve just done it in your incredible poem! Well done! You have captured thoughts and feelings many have experienced and extremely well. Great write! H🌷
2nd Jan 2020 4:29am
4th Jan 2020 8:10pm
Your candor and vulnerability are potent and engaging. Very relatable spill. Thank you for sharing with us Vickie
