2020

Sometimes things just happen that we are clearly not supposed to understand.
When did life become about the why me, rather than the why not me?
When you make a choice between right and wrong and all you are used to in life is making choices for everyone else,
 it becomes quite an education that you have lived your life for others without noticing you never learned to live it for yourself.
I want to live my life, my way and only make decisions based upon what is best for myself.
Is that self indulgent or self preservation or simply self discovery?
I make So many decisions based upon what is best for others.
Now that I am making decisions outside my self imposed box,
I am lost.
To discover what others might take as trivial and insignificant becomes a whole new world for me of discoveries with endless delights and failures.
Yet, isn't that just life?
Are gentlemen or ladies becoming an endangered species?
Taken over by the self riotous, ill mannered people whose concern is to surround themselves with their material gains, calling it a personal gain. Blinding their comprehension that a personal gain comes from our ability to treat humanity with dignity without profitability.
I am worn out again, by the part of life where everything in hell is thrown at you just when things being to show a glimmer of light.
I hope my current path moves me forward to take care of myself. I absolutely must believe in myself that I am worth it.
I must be brave enough to follow my inner compass. Striving for my authentic self to become the next decade of my reality. Dignified and at peace.