Quid Pro Quo, Ho

I went to the apothecary, because I contracted something quite scary, from a Venetian girl named Mary. I thought she was innocent like Romeo's Juliet. 💞
Hell No!😠 Instead, the witch gave a dose of panty crickets. 🦗  I asked him if had a cure for the itch I had down there?😳 In my jungle of tight curly hair.

He said, "I did have something, but there's nothing left of that something, so how about I give you something else in exchange instead?  For the same price as an elixir, I'll set you up with a shaving mug and a straight razor.  Just shave your bottom clean and smooth and those panty crickets will have nothing to hang on to."

Desperate I took the substitute, but I realized that self exfoliation with a straight razor could lead to accidental castration.  Just one slip of that straight razor and I'd loose my job as a male stripper.🕺 So, I went back to see Mary to make an offer that would be mutually beneficiary.  "If you shave me, I'll shave you.  Quid pro quo, we'll rid each other's creepy crawlers down below.  How about it, my pretty little ho? "🤷‍♂️

She said, "sounds good to me, let's shave each other's animals clean."💇‍♀️

So, I did something for Mary, in exchange, she did something for me.  Consequently, we're as happy as can be. 💑  We eventually hitched and had three babies.👼👼👶  Their names are Quid the Kid, Pro the Bro and Quo the Ho.  If you do something for them, in exchange, they'll do something of equal value for you and since the time of apothecary this will always be true.👌

Author's Notes; the above poetic prose was inspired by the most searched word of 2019; quid pro quo.  

Meant to be an educational poem, my work uses words and imagery that are slightly disturbing and shocking.  By utilizing this technique, after just a single read, the meaning of quid pro quo will be deeply embedded in the mind of the reader forever.

"The Latin phrase quid pro quo originally implied that something had been substituted, as in this instead of that. Early usage by English speakers followed the original Latin meaning, with occurrences in the 1530s where the term referred to either intentionally or unintentionally substituting one medicine for another. This may also have extended to a fraudulent substitution of useful medicines for an ingenuine article. By the end of the same century, quid pro quo evolved into a more current use to describe equivalent exchanges."