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Dear Daddies - You Never Held Me Back
Lover, before all these witnesses I tell you, you never held me back.
These fears must be common to family men.
Neither I nor my children were ever denied what we needed. We've wasted many opportunities you gave us, in fact. That's not to say we didn't enjoy everything we had as fully as we possibly could. Our capacity to use every blessing, every gift has been restrained by our natural limitations.
I'm talking about all kinds of opportunities. Loads of discretionary moments, tons of wasted resources, neglected tools for self improvement, sleeping in, distractions running away with us when we could plan the next adventure... etc.
My husband gave his children the blessing of a wise, business savvy father. He couldn't do that and give them his youth as he rises out of poverty from a rough and wild start.
I say to you all that to get a family he had to or *got to* start over at 34 after accepting a no-fault divorce he didn't ask for in a ten year relationship that wasn't going to have children.
With a fresh, 18 year old virgin, goodie-two shoes, one who could relate to his vision for life, and overwhelm him in a thousand ways over twenty years, with the help of ten children, two of which just grew up and ran off after life... after gaslighting us steadily for the past 4 years or so; so pretty much, you made sure we got everything we asked for whether that was the best idea or not.
It takes a lot out of a man to care about all that so actively. I ask myself, did we hold YOU back?
I don't think you can call what you did "holding us back."
Even I don't know how I would be writing now without what he gave me over all these years. I need him, troubles and all. Just like I believe he needs us. Even if we do make each other miserable with our good intentions and bad attitudes.
These fears must be common to family men.
Neither I nor my children were ever denied what we needed. We've wasted many opportunities you gave us, in fact. That's not to say we didn't enjoy everything we had as fully as we possibly could. Our capacity to use every blessing, every gift has been restrained by our natural limitations.
I'm talking about all kinds of opportunities. Loads of discretionary moments, tons of wasted resources, neglected tools for self improvement, sleeping in, distractions running away with us when we could plan the next adventure... etc.
My husband gave his children the blessing of a wise, business savvy father. He couldn't do that and give them his youth as he rises out of poverty from a rough and wild start.
I say to you all that to get a family he had to or *got to* start over at 34 after accepting a no-fault divorce he didn't ask for in a ten year relationship that wasn't going to have children.
With a fresh, 18 year old virgin, goodie-two shoes, one who could relate to his vision for life, and overwhelm him in a thousand ways over twenty years, with the help of ten children, two of which just grew up and ran off after life... after gaslighting us steadily for the past 4 years or so; so pretty much, you made sure we got everything we asked for whether that was the best idea or not.
It takes a lot out of a man to care about all that so actively. I ask myself, did we hold YOU back?
I don't think you can call what you did "holding us back."
Even I don't know how I would be writing now without what he gave me over all these years. I need him, troubles and all. Just like I believe he needs us. Even if we do make each other miserable with our good intentions and bad attitudes.
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