deepundergroundpoetry.com
I ADHERE TO YOU.
I ADHERE TO YOU.
If You send me just a word, my Lord,
to assure me that You are quite near,
I would leave my silver and my gold
and upleap and dance in your wide sphere.
What can gold and silver give my heart
to release it from its fear and care.
Only when l hear Your voice around
of the tranquil life l get aware.
We get stuck to those who are the cause
which endows us life to live on earth.
Lambs get stuck to mothers for their food;
I adhere to You for peace and mirth.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
If You send me just a word, my Lord,
to assure me that You are quite near,
I would leave my silver and my gold
and upleap and dance in your wide sphere.
What can gold and silver give my heart
to release it from its fear and care.
Only when l hear Your voice around
of the tranquil life l get aware.
We get stuck to those who are the cause
which endows us life to live on earth.
Lambs get stuck to mothers for their food;
I adhere to You for peace and mirth.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 1st Jan 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 291
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Jan 2020 4:52pm
What does this piece teach me -- or anyone else who wants to learn -- about what goes in to writing good poetry?
1st Jan 2020 6:05pm
From Jesus
Joseph, if you want me near
then please put far more effort than you do
in “works” like this
to write your words with grace.
These odd inversions here
with which you far too often populate your verse ,
and that you are so wont to use
to get what must be viewed
as pallid rhyme,
cause me, when reading them,
to wince with pain
and cause me much embarrassment
whenever you proclaim you are
a gifted child of mine,
and blushings to my face.
So hear me then
as I now speak from up above
(and if you want to earn my love):
I will not be inclined
to grant you what you wish
until you gain a sense of how
the way you write is pish poor
un poetical
and serves to bring
from others who
possess an educated sense
of what delights the eye and ear
the thought that all your “work”
deserves disdain
and leaves your reputation as
a person whose ability to meet
his obligations to produce
good English verse
with some degree of talent is
quite sadly in arrears.
Joseph, if you want me near
then please put far more effort than you do
in “works” like this
to write your words with grace.
These odd inversions here
with which you far too often populate your verse ,
and that you are so wont to use
to get what must be viewed
as pallid rhyme,
cause me, when reading them,
to wince with pain
and cause me much embarrassment
whenever you proclaim you are
a gifted child of mine,
and blushings to my face.
So hear me then
as I now speak from up above
(and if you want to earn my love):
I will not be inclined
to grant you what you wish
until you gain a sense of how
the way you write is pish poor
un poetical
and serves to bring
from others who
possess an educated sense
of what delights the eye and ear
the thought that all your “work”
deserves disdain
and leaves your reputation as
a person whose ability to meet
his obligations to produce
good English verse
with some degree of talent is
quite sadly in arrears.
