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THE NEWS I WAIT FOR
THE NEWS I WAIT FOR
Homing pigeons, fly so fast.
What you hold l want to see.
Don't let languor delay you.
What you have will delight me.
I've been sitting on hot flames
with a heart afraid of time,
while time flies and does not care
for what my heart starts to mime.
Please, kind pigeons, bring that news.
Don't say,"None to me is sent."
Life won't show its smiling lips
if you don't arrive with it.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Homing pigeons, fly so fast.
What you hold l want to see.
Don't let languor delay you.
What you have will delight me.
I've been sitting on hot flames
with a heart afraid of time,
while time flies and does not care
for what my heart starts to mime.
Please, kind pigeons, bring that news.
Don't say,"None to me is sent."
Life won't show its smiling lips
if you don't arrive with it.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 28th Dec 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
Since here
Please, kind pigeons, bring that news.
Don't say,"None to me is sent."
You are asking the pigeon to address you and to refrain from telling you that the news you are hoping for has not been sent, shouldn't this read
Please, kind pigeons, bring that news.
Don't say,"None to **you** is sent." ?
The syntax of your present line indicates that the pigeon is speaking to itself and telling itself that no news has been sent to it.
Please, kind pigeons, bring that news.
Don't say,"None to me is sent."
You are asking the pigeon to address you and to refrain from telling you that the news you are hoping for has not been sent, shouldn't this read
Please, kind pigeons, bring that news.
Don't say,"None to **you** is sent." ?
The syntax of your present line indicates that the pigeon is speaking to itself and telling itself that no news has been sent to it.
28th Dec 2019 9:09pm
28th Dec 2019 9:18pm
I also note that for these 7 syllable lines
Don't let languor delay you.
What you have will delight me.
to maintain some degree of trochaic regularity, and to avoid your lines, when read out, having an unnatural rhythm (trochee trochee bacchius), you have to mispronounce "delay" and "delight" as DE lay and DE light.
Don't let languor delay you.
What you have will delight me.
to maintain some degree of trochaic regularity, and to avoid your lines, when read out, having an unnatural rhythm (trochee trochee bacchius), you have to mispronounce "delay" and "delight" as DE lay and DE light.
