Why We Decide

It is like the universe saw my lights slowly fading
The good I was to do
Along with this touch of healing
Dissipating
 
Throwing in the towel
I looked at the spit and bruising
Left by those I'd cared for
My shades mixing
Confusing
 
For a moment I let the words explode the leak
And he  
The sinister demon
Pulled us back with such empathy
 
'Look at what you've done to me!'
He said
Such sincerity
'A man who believed in nothing
Now open to everything'
 
The blade on my neck was sharp as I drew blood
So he covered me with the light I gifted him once
Not just once
 
As today I was reminded again
Why I continuously jump into the deep end
It is for them
 
The dying, the sick, the unloved
Sometimes a gift is given  
When the patient becomes
A warm
Needed welcome
 
Yes
I now know why I dive in so deep
I say it is to save you
But truly
It is to save me.