deepundergroundpoetry.com

Relapse

Why am I so afraid of sleep?
So few know the secrets I keep
Nightmares wake me up with screams
Terror few will ever know it seems

I canít be open with my thoughts
So I tie myself in so many knots
Crystal methamphetamine?
Better than the things I dream

I would rather stay awake for days
Eyes open... sitting alone in such a haze
The only drug that keeps me sane
Is heroin as it runs through my veins

The only peace I really know
Is when Iím lost in her warm glow
Iíll only buy a point I say
That doesnít even last me a day

Spread out on a piece of foil
Chasing a dragon through my turmoil
This mistress always treats me the same
I know Iím playing a deadly game

I pray I could just stand on my own
But it happened here... right in my home
I knew the path I was going to take
I shouldnít have given the chance to forsake

Brown powder from Afghanistan
I wish I could form a better plan
I made a promise... One I meant to keep
She calls me lier... and those words cut deep

I donít blame her... I am what I am
Addicted... just donít give a damn
Nodding off... trying not to die
I canít help it but sit here and cry

I gave in... broke another sacred vow
My apologies just donít matter now
Why do I love this acrid smoke?
It really should just make me choke

Itís been so long... almost three years
I canít hold back these fucking tears
A sober chip thrown down the drain
Lost in vapours from these putrid grains

Without her... Iím ready to give up all hope
Right back where I started... high on dope
The only problem... it just doesnít last
Im trying to move on, but I canít forget the past

Iíll take one more hit... the last of the bag
I wish I never tried this drug called skag
Does it make me worthless? Even after I did it all
Iím still sitting here crying... waiting for her to call.

That Hustla...
Everyday Iím hustlin
thathustla
Written by thathustla
Published
Author's Note
Fuck... I relapsed smoking meth and heroin... something I promised a girl I would never do again. I lasted past my breakup with her... the next girl tho... I fell so hard. When she left me I needed...
Fuck... I relapsed smoking meth and heroin... something I promised a girl I would never do again. I lasted past my breakup with her... the next girl tho... I fell so hard. When she left me I needed to fill the hole she left, and when the opportunity presented itself... I took it
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