deepundergroundpoetry.com
THE SECRET OF CONFESSION
THE SECRET OF CONFESSION
How light man feels when he is free from sin !
He deems he has obtained strong wings to fly.
He gains these wings when he gets rid of guilt
and finds himself quite fit to fly so high.
Where is your disgust with what life may bring
and that hot skewer of your self-remorse?
They all disperse when sins have disappeared
with all the torture which has filled your course.
How nice life gets when free from fearful thoughts !
You feel you've got at large and want to run,
to talk with people, all, and embrace them
as they have changed their scowls to cheerful fun.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
How light man feels when he is free from sin !
He deems he has obtained strong wings to fly.
He gains these wings when he gets rid of guilt
and finds himself quite fit to fly so high.
Where is your disgust with what life may bring
and that hot skewer of your self-remorse?
They all disperse when sins have disappeared
with all the torture which has filled your course.
How nice life gets when free from fearful thoughts !
You feel you've got at large and want to run,
to talk with people, all, and embrace them
as they have changed their scowls to cheerful fun.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 15th Dec 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Dec 2019 2:45pm
Since we all fall short of the mark, confession is an ever-ongoing onerous task - but I generally concur with your sentiments (depending on the definition of 'sin')
15th Dec 2019 2:53pm
15th Dec 2019 2:54pm
How blessed are we to have Gods mercy when dealing with our own sin, confess, ask for forgiveness, hopefully find the wisdom not to repeat!
Great line;
"Where is your disgust with what life may bring
and that hot skewer of your self-remorse?"
Great line;
"Where is your disgust with what life may bring
and that hot skewer of your self-remorse?"
15th Dec 2019 3:25pm
Why is this a "great line"? And why is there here a change from third person description to second person address? Who is it that's being spoken too?
Is it really true that when a person is unburdened of sin, everyone else (and especially those who have not gone to confession) is scowling, let alone changes their scowls to "cheerful fun" (whatever type of facial expression that is)? And what other type of fun is there that is not cheerful?
Sorry, but this is another of your pieces where you have let your desire to rhyme get in the way of writing lines that make sense and are not trite.
Sorry, but this is another of your pieces where you have let your desire to rhyme get in the way of writing lines that make sense and are not trite.
15th Dec 2019 5:42pm
I’m going today unto a priest
to be one shriven.
Does this mean I’ll be forgiven
of my sins forevermore?
Protestor Luther would deny me this
for in his eyes I am a man whose always
blood made justus while simul peccator.
to be one shriven.
Does this mean I’ll be forgiven
of my sins forevermore?
Protestor Luther would deny me this
for in his eyes I am a man whose always
blood made justus while simul peccator.
15th Dec 2019 7:20pm
Dear Josh,
Thank you very much for your kind comment. I am very glad to read that you agree with me about the definition of sin, especially in these holy days.
Thank you very much for your kind comment. I am very glad to read that you agree with me about the definition of sin, especially in these holy days.
15th Dec 2019 7:42pm
Dear Baldwin,
1- You've got free to run..........
2- Because man means any person, and you means anyone, so they have the same meaning.
3-Thank you for liking the two lines.
4- Your question about scowling does not agree with the general meaning of the poem. Please read the poem again and ask the question again.
1- You've got free to run..........
2- Because man means any person, and you means anyone, so they have the same meaning.
3-Thank you for liking the two lines.
4- Your question about scowling does not agree with the general meaning of the poem. Please read the poem again and ask the question again.
Did you mean "you've become free to run"/ "you've been made free to run"? If so, you present line is poorly written. When one says "you got" it generally means" you've come into possession of something". I do not know what "you came into possession of at large" means. If you were intending to say "You've now been given the ability to roam freely and without being captured", you've botched it.
And what lines did I like?
A scowl is a facial expression of displeasure. It's opposite is not "cheerful fun" let alone any other kind of fun. It's "grin". And the idea that one's sense of being unburdened of sin causes those who have not be forgiven of their sins to have their scowls changed to grins is highly questionable.
And what lines did I like?
A scowl is a facial expression of displeasure. It's opposite is not "cheerful fun" let alone any other kind of fun. It's "grin". And the idea that one's sense of being unburdened of sin causes those who have not be forgiven of their sins to have their scowls changed to grins is highly questionable.
15th Dec 2019 7:47pm
Very dear Tig,
We are old friends. Thank you very much for your explanation which l like very much, and for liking the two lines. Please keep in touch. I like to read your useful comments.
We are old friends. Thank you very much for your explanation which l like very much, and for liking the two lines. Please keep in touch. I like to read your useful comments.
