Cant you?

Cant you see how much i hate me?
Cant you see how much i miss me?
Cant you see how much i miss that tiny life that grew in my womb only to be snuffed out before it even really began?
Cant you see how this is destroying me?
Or how about how hard im trying regardless of the fact that i dont want to do this life thing anymore but i do for you and my lost son.
Cant you see my struggles and sorrow?
Cant you see i dont want you to fix me but to listen to me?
Cant you see im barely keeping my head above the water that only rises the more i cry?
Cant you see how hard it is for to take in each breath because it only adds to that ache in my heart?
Cant you see that there is no me anymore?
That girl you loved so much is gone.
That girl cant come back from the trauma in her heart and mind.
That girl is crying out for anything to grasp onto to survive but also loosens her grip as she slips on pain and chokes on heartbreak?
Cant you see that when i was told my sons heart wasnt beating, that mine stopped too?
Cant you see im still here and slipping away more everyday?
Cant you see im contemplating on just letting go and letting myself slip away?
Cant you?
Cant i?