YOPJ - Nice: Pushing the Envelope

"Thunk!" on my door. It was an obvious demand. The door boomed again and again from little feet in socks. Weird way to knock. Lay down and kick!
 
Wrapped in my towel with dripping hair, I wasn't about to rush from my master bathroom to throw open the door of my room and receive Mr. 5 Year Old's complaint.  
 
Lucky me, along comes his dad. He looks down asks what is the matter.  
 
"I want an apple!" He shouted, excited about his situation. There was an apple, and sister had it sliced.  
 
Daddy says, "There is one for you, if you share."  
 
The little man accepts his terms and takes the apple half gratefully.  
 
Once upon a time I didn't know how to expect nice behavior.  
 
Now our #1 rule is - respect people's boundaries, which means acknowledging their feelings and not trying to control them. The exeption is people causing damage to people or property and creating need for emergency measures.  
 
His dad basically got him to do that. He made him accept big sister's way of apple sharing.  
 
I tell myself that THE question I must ask older children when I'm entering a skirmish to calm them is, "did you start by acknowledging the other person's feelings?"