Requirements for marriage

It has come to my    
Attention
That a number of my fans    
are interested in marrying    
me.  
I don't have a problem with this    
at all  
Other than, as in all things  
I have to choose  
just one of them.  
   
So I have decided to    
Lay down my conditions  
for this marriage thing.  
   
One, the first one, is,  
you need to be smitten by me,  
the first time you see me.  
Sure, you are perfectly allowed to    
get to know me,    
beforehand, through word of mouth,  
various publications you may have read about me,  
up to and including  varied poetic    
meanderings.  
   
Second, and this is perhaps a little variable,  
but ultimately not,  
is that although I will permit your face getting  
red during past encounters with attractive members    
of the actracted sex,  
I am not inclined to continue the pursuit,  
if the applicant, has ever experienced sex  
either with another,    
or by one's self.  
   
My people,  
 my staff here at Rabbitquest International,  
Just politely, and very diplomatically,  
pointed out that with my own varied encounters  
with horses, goats, and of course myself,    
I am applying a little bit of a double standard.  
Their observations    
have been noted.  
   
So let me continue.    
After our first meeting,  
I will then need to    
put you on the back burner,    
So that I may    
Explore the field, basically dating as    
many women that come my way,  
until I realize, perhaps after five,    
maybe fifteen years,  
How special you are,  
So that just as you have finally come to a tipping point  
of giving up on me,  
   
I will swoop back into the picture,  
you will fall head over heals over me,  
send your fiance away,  
Let down all of your defenses and  
allow me into your life.  
   
Thank you and I will    
take all applications Offline.  
   
UPDATE: Applicant has been    
Accepted.  
 
 
.....Ahem, oh Hey, this is Clew, your bestest friend.  Oh, hey,  
I was just  looking over...

CLEW WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY POEM????

.....Oh, Hey Rabbit, I just was passing by and I thought I would.....

GET OUT

....uh, shure, shure thing bye....


ALRIGHT, NOW THAT YOU ARE HERE, WHAT DO YOU WANT???

...Oh, I was just going to ask, if that applicant you accepted for
marriage was your....

NO SHE IS REAL.

...oh great, uh, hey, what's her name? Do I know....

SYLVIA.

...oh, like Sylvia Pl......

NO. OK YEAH.


....well, then,  well that is what caught my eye, is those conditions,
well  those conditions, I don't know if there is an eligible bachelorette,
well, within reach, that could live up to such purity....


SO WHAT IF THERE ISN'T, AND THEN ONE DOES COME ALONG CLEW?
WHAT ABOUT THAT???

..... yeah, sure, hey, but maybe we could turn this into a bargain hunt, i mean, Everybody, was once innocent and young, I mean look at yourself, i think you were pretty innocent up until about the age of six, when you found those wack mags at your dad's rental house, remember he was renting to those college kids and....

i CAN BARELY REMEMBER.  BUT HOW IS THIS BARGAIN HUNT GOING TO HAPPEN?

....ok, first you simply find some chick that maybe you share something in common with....

LIKE MAYBE WE BOTH HAVE BODY ODOR????

...well, we'll get to that in a minute, nothing a bar of soap cant intervene in,
remember you liked to play othello, maybe you can set up an othello game in a table at a coffee-internet shoppe, and....

I HATE COFFEE

...I can't help you there, rabbit, but  maybe just order a decaf...


AND WHAT IF i START TO REALLY LIKE HER, THEN SHE GOES OFF WITH THE NEXT GUY???? WHAT ABOUT THAT????

...ok, that is a fear all of us have, even me,  so what I did, was practice ahead of time that this is not going to last, and if it does, well, if it does, you have this test you see, your test of leaving her for five years, to see if she really likes you is not realistic in your situation, maybe if you were some kind of young prince but you're....

IM WHAT?   HUH?   OK DON'T ANSWER THAT .

..well, lets just try, kind of staring off into space while you count to sixty, to see if she is still attentive on you, i mean lets say one of her mail friends comes up starts chatting, stare off into space for sixty seconds, and then if she doesn't try to loop you back into the threesome, then, take a couple steps away, and if she still doesn't notice your growing degree of separation,
look at the ground , pick something random up like a leaf, study it, then take another step, and another and then once you are seven steppes away, run like hell,  and never give that girl a nother thought.


BUT WHAT IF SHE SHOUTS OUT AND STARTS RUNNING AFTER ME???


...well, that would work, slow down enough, so that if she is gaining on you,
see if she really does.   if she does, embrace her and never let her go....

OK CLEW, I WILL TRY THAT.  CAN i BORROW YOUR OTHELLO SET???