Santa Coal (It takes Big Snowballs)

"I thought you were starting to see through new rose-colored, puffy glasses." Said the big man in the dark, dirty suit, with white hair so sooty it looked like grey hair that failed to go black with a dye-job. "Maybe it's because of that other eye I missed!" He raised his arm loaded with a large, icy packed snowball.

"Stop!" screamed Nick, raising his arm self protectively. "I need that eye, so I can clean you up with a good whitewashing!"

"Aaaah!" The primal scream accompanied a desperate rush at his dirty victim with his clean, beautiful coat,held up as though it could ward off anything. It wasn't even immune to one well packed snowball. Down with the impact he bellowed "for the love of all that is holy, WHY DID I GET CONTACTS as a gift from Father Time last Christmas?"

"I think the real question is why would you pick a fight wearing contacts, dumbass!?" Steampunk Santa's voice only rose in pitch slightly, followed by a cough. It was clear he was beat by the throw-down he had just delivered. "Seriously, though, you have some nerve to question my mission! You do your job, I do mine!"