LOVES ELUSIVE  FUTILE ILLUSION  (12-7-18, 4:30pm, STARBUCKS RESERVE Coffee Shop, Palm Springs, California)

ive waited
ive wandered
ive wondered
ive wanted
nothing better
nor more
badly
ever
than ive
wanted you
still all
my waiting
and wandering
all my
wondering
and wanting
has never
brought me
any closer
in this
reality
to you
thus far
at all
even so
i continue
so blindly
in my
own stubborn
madness here
to so
futilely keep
on waiting
wandering
and wondering
wanting
and so
vainly
longing for
nothing better
nor more
badly
than to
spend
just
one moment
one hour
one night
or one
sweet deep
lifetime
with you
but if
not
until then
at least
with whatever
closest
approximation
i can
find
in and
through
someone else
who seems
to meet
and somewhat
fulfill
the delusional
illusory ideal
ive convinced
myself
to
no avail
you alone
so long
have been
to me
and sadly
now
still are
though seemingly
still
so out
of reach
as well
from all
my
angst filled
longing here
which
continues
to ache
despite
my even
more stubborn
resistance
from ever
more clearly
and truthfully
realizing
that you
and i
are
most likely
to never
be
anything more
than what
we already
are and
arent
here in
this
lifetime
at all