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Image for the poem Mirrors

Mirrors

I went to cosmetology school,   †
years ago. † † † †
†† † † †
It felt like a sea of mirrors; waves upon waves of them. What other schools are seas of mirrors? † † † †
† † † †  
Everyone was always catching eachotherís eyes. Near-nothing went unnoticed. † † † †  
† † † †  
Not that there werenít many educational distractions. But those distractions seemed to act as leverage for the thump, thump, thump of anticipating the eyes.  

I remember being watched sometimes by two piercing blue ones. I mean, a kind of piercing you describe when you arenít just using empty adjectives. I guess they would strike me too. † † † †
I donít know. † † † †
† † † †  
Whatever it was, it was crystal-sharp as hell. † † † †  
† † † †  
Call me humble, but, I was surprised that these select ones had chosen me. Sometimes they were busy, doing more skillful, important things. † † † †
† † † †  
At first I liked being noticed. † † † †
Singled out, I guess. † † † †
† † † †  
But then I started anticipating it, thinking about every silly, human move I made and I broke down. Got clumsy. † †  
† † †
Started wondering when they were going to reflect on me again. † † †
† † † †  
I went from what I thought was cool and confident to weak and aching. I started to think more about my body language; I wanted to make sure it was attractive. † † † †  
† † † †  
And then... fuck. † †  
† † † †  
Just like that, I would catch them again. † † † †
† † † †  
They were looking at me in a mirror reflected off of another mirror. I got good at spotting them through kaleidoscopes. † † † †
† † † †  
They always had so much to say to me, † † † †
I lapped it up like a desperate puppy. † † † †  
† † † †  
I donít know † † † †
anything † † † †
more subtle that exists † † † †
that makes your † † † †
heart thump hard like that. † † † †
† † † †  
Before I knew it, † † † †
that thump, thump, thump † † † †  
moved down between my legs, † † † †
in rhythm with my heart. † † † †  
† † † †  
Amongst so many people, †  
so much activity, †  
those glances became our secrets. † † † †  
† † † †  
Two weeks later we fucked in the school bathroom. †
†  
Absolutely nothing can prepare you for eyes that are out of the mirror and on you. † † † †  
† † † †  
Youíre uncomfortably warm, your face is red in weird places, and your panties are embarrassingly damp. † † † †  
† † † †  
I think thatís what lust must do.
Rachel_Lauren
Written by Rachel_Lauren
Published
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